Most importantly, we have to be careful never to cause embarrassment to one's fellow man. Tamar said (38:35) הָרָה א ָנֹכִי לּוֹ א ֵלֶּה ֶׁראֲש לְא ִישׁ, and Rashi (see also Sotah 10b) writes, "She didn't want to embarrass [Yehudah]... Rather, she said, 'If he admits it on his own, then so be it, and if he doesn't, I will be burned. But I won't embarrass him.' Chazal learn from this that "It is better for a person to be thrown into a fiery furnace and not to embarrass his fellow man in public."
Pnei Yehoshua proves from the Gemara (Bava Metzia 58b) that embarrassing one's fellow man is worse than murder. This is because the Gemara says, עולים לגיהנם היורדין כל, "Whoever goes to Gehinom will leave Gehinom." This applies to all aveiros, including murder, r'l. Gehinom isn't forever. Reshaim suffer in Gehinom for twelve months, but afterwards, their neshamos are brought to Gan Eden. So, even for murder, the baalei aveirah will eventually leave Gehinom. However, the Gemara says that there are three exceptions, those go to Gehinom and never leave. Among those who never leave Gehinom are those who embarrass their fellow man in public and those who call their fellow man by a degrading nickname. Embarrassing one's fellow man is worse than murder.
The Ostrovtza zt'l explains that Tamar was pregnant with twins. If she were burned, three souls would die. Nevertheless, Tamar understood that this was better than embarrassing one's fellow man in public.
In contrast, we understand the great reward for those who give chizuk to their fellow man. The Imrei Emes zt'l said that sometimes you can’t offer advice, and you are unable to help someone in different ways. But you can listen to the person, as he pours out his heart before you and tells you of his tzaros. Sometimes it’s sufficient, and he is relieved afterwards. This is hinted in the words (37:21) וַיַּצִּל ֵהוּ רְאוּבֵן וַיִּשְׁמַע, Reuven heard, he listened to someone pour out his bitter heart, and that brought salvation. The person feels understood, and he feels that others have compassion for him, and this can help him endure the difficult test he is going through.
The Maharil teaches that the shamesh should be placed above the other chanukah lecht. This hints that when one shines and gives light and hope to others, he is above all.
