There are times we feel that we are doing well in our connection to – and service of – Hashem, with our spiritual pursuits clicking on all cylinders. Then, there are times when we stumble and feel that we are frauds who live a double life. This feeling gnaws away at us as our momentum shifts, and we fall into a spiritual tailspin which may take a long time to recover. What mindset can we adopt to help us deal with the reality that we are not perfect, leading to a certain self-acceptance and a faster bounce-back period?
In this week’s Parsha, Parshas Vayeishev, we find the epic challenge that Yosef faced when the wife of Potiphar approached him and tried to seduce him. The Pasuk (Bereishis 39:12) tells us, “עִמִִּ֑י שִכְב ָ֣ה לֵאמ ֹ֖ר בְבִגְד֛וֹ וַתִתְפְשֵֵׂ֧הוּ - She caught hold of him by his garment and said, ‘Lie with me!’ The simple understanding is that she grabbed him by the clothing.” However, our Chassidic masters teach (as heard from R’Elchonon Jacobovitz) that there’s something much deeper happening here. Beged implies “Boged”, which means traitor. The masters explain that Mrs. Potiphar “grabbed” Yosef by telling him: “You’re a traitor. The fact that you are here contemplating this ‘forbidden union’ means you turned your back on your identity. You’re no longer the Yosef that you used to be, the one who served G-d. You have nothing to lose at this point anyway.”
However, Yosef responded in the next Pasuk (ibid. 39:13): when it says, “V’yazov Es Bigdoh - he had left his garment in her hand and had fled outside.” Yosef told himself the truth: “It is not true that I am a traitor. Have I fallen here and there? Perhaps I slipped up, but I am still Yosef.” The Sages tell us that Yosef saw in himself the image of his saintly father, Yaakov Avinu, which was his identity. He realized that Mrs. Potiphar was wrong, and it was this strengthening of his identity that did not allow him to commit this sin.
The strategy that Potiphar’s wife used is the oldest trick in the book that is employed by the Yeitzer Harah (the Evil Inclination). After we make a mistake, the Yeitzer Harah tells us that we are two-faced; that we are hypocrites – and that makes us traitors. Our sins do not define our identity, and even the greatest of the great sin from time to time (see Koheles 7:20). How should we define ourselves? We are elevated beings who are the grandchildren of the holy forefathers – Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov – and we must strengthen ourselves with this knowledge that will empower us to improve and view ourselves properly. We do so much good, all the learning, the Chesed, the davening, and a moment of weakness cannot and will not change that. Let’s take pride in our holy identity!
