When we describe Eisav and his lusts for all kinds of evil, his Hefkeirus and his need for instant gratification (at least in our perception), etc., sometimes we wonder about ourselves. Especially when we have an example of a Yaakov, with outstanding Hasmada (no sleeping for 14 years) and incredible honesty (הָיִיתִי בַיוֹם אֲכָלַנִי חֹרֶב וְקֶרַח בַלַיְלָה וַתִּדַד שְׁנָתִי מֵעֵינָי — serving as a loyal Sheppard outdoors, despite unbearable weather conditions) we ask: Where do we stand?
Our Mentality May Be Influenced by Galus Eisav, But We ASPIRE to Rid Ourselves of It
In the rock bottom of our dark Galus Edom, where fear of Gehinom isn’t even a subject, Rachmana Litzlan, since everyone is petrified or in depression, and the: קַ אלְטקַ ייט lack of feeling in Avodas Hashem is prevalent, with plenty of: טִמְטוּם הַלֵב spiritual numbness caused by the Treife streets and: מְגוּשָם materialistic mentality of our gentile neighbors, it’s no wonder that we have an Eisav mentality, Rachmana Litzlan. Nevertheless, Chazal say: חַיָיב אָדָם לוֹמַר מָתַי יַגִיעוּ מַעֲשַי לְמַעֲשֵה אַבוֹתַי — A person must to ask himself: When will my deeds reach the lofty heights of the Avos?
אוֹנֵס רַחְמָנָא פַטְרֵיה — You are not liable for sins beyond your control, אֵין הַקָדוֹש בָּרוּךְ הוּא בָּא בְּטְרוּנְיָא עִם בְּרִיוֹתָיו — Hashem does not demand anything beyond your reach, and: וְלֹא עָלֶיךָ הַמְּלָאכָה לִגְמוֹר — You don’t have to get it all done! As long as you desire to be a Yaakov, you wish to get rid of the Eisav side of you, and you try and you learn Mussar and ask Eitzos and daven for improvement, you’re plenty okay.
In fact, the very name Yaakov is not a nice name (Ohr HaChaim) and you may view yourself as barely holding on to the lowest part of Eisav (his smelly foot). Yet, you are very Le'chatchila, because Yaakov himself was born: וְיָדוֹ אֹחֶזֶת בַעֲקֵב עֵשָו — gripping his brother’s foot, i.e., struggling to go higher. He was named after the struggling stance that he had at birth.
And this is a lesson for all generations; as long as you aim upwards and you try! רַחְמָנָא לִיבָּא בָּעֵי — Hashem wants our intentions. You may be in the “garbage can” (like Eisav) in Avodas Hashem, and doing all kinds of no-good things, Chas V’shalom. Yet, you always view yourself as the best of the Yaakov’s, and what’s going on in your life is just “temporary insanity” (a: מוּם עוֹבֵר blemish that will heal) but the real me is all the way up with the biggest Tzadikim!
הִנֵה סֻלָּם מֻצָּב אַרְצָה וְרֹאשוֹ מַגִּיעַ הַשָּמָיְמָה — You may be situated on the “ground”, but your “head” is all the way in Shamayim. It’s not easy to insist you’re really Gevaldig like the Avos, since the Yetzer Hara keeps insisting: “Look how bad you are!” But it pays off to keep making believe you’re really from the finest of Klal Yisroel.
