Last week’s Geshmake Question:
It seems Yitzchak loved Esav more than Yaakov. 1) Why? 2) Why didn’t he want to give the blessings to Yaakov? Didn’t he know that Yaakov learned all day and was a tzaddik? Wasn’t he holy?
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This week’s geshmaka question:
Why did Yaakov Avinu go learn for 14 years before going to find his shidduch?
“William, I like to understand how people work,” R’ Zechariah Wallenstein shlita said. “Tell me, how are you still so happy?”
“You once had so much money and gave so much tzedakah, and now you can’t. Your business crashed, you don’t have the money you used to have, but you still smile. How?”
“Before I even had this business that went bad,” William explained, “I had a very close friend who needed a few workers, and he was going to pay very nice money. I was sure my friend would help me with a job but he didn’t. I was broken, and it was very hard for me. I was like, ‘Hashem, why?’”
“But six months later, on September 11, 2001, I understood. All the workers my friend chose died when the plane hit the twin towers; they were on the 82nd floor. I have no questions on Hashem. Hashem has a plan. And I realized every day is a gift.”
What’s the lesson? We all have times and situations in our lives that seem bad to us, and sometimes we feel very bitter. But we must strengthen our trust in Hashem. He has a plan. Hashem is seeing the Big Picture of your life.
This connects to this week’s Parshah:
Yaakov was hiding from his brother Esav. He hid and learned Torah for 14 years without sleeping. Then the night he left the Bais Medrash and slept out on the desert floor was when Hashem spoke to him for the first time.
Question: Why didn’t Hashem speak to him during his 14 years of learning?
Answer: Perhaps when Yaakov learned without any sleep, he was in Gan Eden in this world; he felt no pain, and he was in the joy of learning Torah. Hashem chose to speak to Yaakov only after he left learning and actually saw and felt life’s difficulties. He was literally sleeping outside, using stones as pillows and for protection on the run from his brother. Yaakov may have felt his life was complicated, “messed up.” Yet, this was exactly when Hashem revealed Himself to him. Only now was he up to the level of Hashem revealing Himself to him, because challenges in life cause us to grow and become so much more holy.
That may be what Yaakov meant: “I did not realize how holy this place of darkness was.” How holy one becomes from their challenges.
There was a terrible hunger in Eretz Yisroel in 1878, and people started dying. Rav Yehoshua Yehuda Leib Diskin shlita wanted to travel to America to collect money, but a few people volunteered to travel instead. When they arrived, they went to two very rich brothers, Nathan Strauss and his brother. Nathan was happy to help and gave a lot, but the brother wasn’t so excited to give.
Later, they came to visit the food kitchen they helped build. On the way back, Nathan fell right by the boat and broke his shoulder, and had to stay behind. His brother teased him, “What would you tell Hashem? He did this right after you gave charity, ha?” Nathan said, “I don’t complain. I would ask Him what else I can do to help. I move forward in life.”
The brother went back home and stopped in Europe to take the Titanic to America, but sadly passed away when the boat sank. What’s the lesson? The shoulder accident saved him. Hashem has a plan. Don’t complain. Trust.
Rav Fishel Schachter repeated this story, and someone asked, “Why couldn’t Hashem save him without breaking his shoulder?” Rav Fishel said, “Maybe it wasn’t only the zechus of food he sponsored that helped him survive; perhaps when his brother teased him, he could have complained to Hashem, but he didn’t. That was what saved him. He had to go through a certain amount of pain and make a choice not to complain.”
This connects to this week’s parshah:
Rochel did the impossible, it was so hard for her to give the signs to her sister Leah to marry Yaakov instead of her, she could have complained, but she didn’t complain and went above nature and gave away the signs.
Only a person who does the impossible and does something above nature can ask Hashem to do the impossible to help us. That’s why Chazal say it was only Rochel, who could cry to Hashem, ask Hashem to have mercy and not wipe us out during the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. (Based on Rav Zev Smith shlita)
In life, 1) let’s overcome our nature, 2) not complain, 3) do the impossible, 4) help others, and be like our mother Rochel.
I was broken…
Don’t complain.
Feivel Paringer Answers:
Because Esav had really good kibud av and he planned on giving him the brachos because he was the bechor.
Other Answers:
Because Esav struggled more, maybe he needed the more love.
