What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when i was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are playing golf. It is the looooongest front nine holes they’ve ever played. Maybe three hours long. They go into the pro shop to complain, and the pro says, “Oh, didn’t you know? The foursome ahead of you are all blind.” The priest says, “Forgive me Father, for I know not whereof I speak.” The minister says, “Forgive me Father, there but for the grace of G-d go I.” And the rabbi says, “What? They couldn’t play at night?”
Two Jews came to their rabbi to judge between them. The first one tells his side and the rabbi answers: "You are right." Then the second one presents his side and the rabbi says again: "You are right." Both leave happy. The rebetzen asks her husband: "You told the first one that he's right and the second one that he's right, how come". "You are right too." the rabbi answers.
