We know that our forefathers were men who were dedicated to Hakadosh Baruch Hu with all their hearts. The Torah states וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ, that you should love Hashem with all your heart, and that’s what they did. It’s an axiom among the Jewish people that love of Hashem was always in the minds of our Avos and the Imahos and we understand all of their deeds in the light of that axiom.
When Avraham Avinu was raising cattle, it was with ahavas Hashem. When he went out to battle against the kings, he was loving Hashem with all of his heart. If we read that Yitzchok was walking in the fields lasuach basadeh, we understand immediately that he was expressing his ahavas Hashem; but even when he was digging wells, it was the same thing. When Yaakov was yosheiv ohalim and whatever other things he was doing, it was always with that in mind; everything they did was with love of Hashem. There was no other love in the hearts of these great men.
And therefore, a problem now confronts us. The Torah states that וַיֶּאֱהַב יַעֲקֹב אֶת רָחֵל, that Yaakov loved Rochel (Vayeitzei 29:18, 29:30). And how much did he love her? Not superficially. He loved her intensely. It’s an open statement in the Torah that he was willing to work seven years for Rochel. And then when he didn’t get her, he was willing to work seven more years if Lavan would consent to give him Rochel.
Fourteen years working for Rochel! Now if that isn’t a sign of intense love, what is? Show me a chosson who will take upon himself to serve even seven years for his kallah. He’ll turn on his heels and look someplace else.
Lovesick Fathers
It needs an explanation. It’s a question that’s always being asked because we’re talking about an oheiv Hashem here, someone who loved Hashem with all of his heart. And for a real lover of Hashem it’s not just words. It means that the heart is filled with intense love and affection for Hashem and there’s no room for anything else.
You know what it looks like? The Rambam describes it as follows: הָבֲהַא יִלְחַה וּמְשׁוּגָע בָּהּ תָּמִיד כְּאִלוּ חוֹלֶה בְּאַהֲבַת אִשָּה – He is immersed in the love of Hashem at all times as if he was sick with love, שִׁגָּעוֹן בְּלִבּוֹ תָּמִיד – he can’t keep his mind off Hashem; whether he’s sitting in his house or walking in the street, when he’s eating or drinking, he’s always immersed in thoughts of Hashem (ibid.)
There were people, even in our times, who lived like that. R' Yisroel Salanter, zichrono l’vrachah was once arrested for that. He lived in Kenningsberg and he used to walk on the outskirts of the town and he used to make motions talking to Hashem; and he was brought to the police station because of that. Then those who knew him came and explained to the police that this man is engrossed in a very great emotion; he can’t help himself. So they wrote in his passport – in that place you had to carry around your papers with you all the time to show the police – so they wrote there: Immer ferzunken in philosophische gedanken – it means he is always immersed in philosophical thoughts. That’s what the police wrote in his passport so they shouldn’t bother him next time.
Now, Rav Yisroel was unique; he was a yachid b’doro, but he was nothing like Yaakov Avinu. We shouldn’t make the mistake of comparing even our greatest men to our Avos. Yaakov was lovesick about Hashem many times over. And so it’s a legitimate question: What’s this idea of loving a wife, a human being? There’s no room for such things in the heart of a tzaddik. He already found his true love.
Men With Big Hearts
And the question is bigger because it’s not an isolated phenomenon; it’s not just Yaakov Avinu. The Torah stresses a similar attitude by many of our great men. וַיֶּאֱהָבָהּ – And Rivkah became Yitzchok’s wife and he loved her (Chayei Sara 24:67). Not ‘he got along with her’; not ‘there was shalom bayis in the tent of Yitzchok’. Vayehaveha! He loved her! It doesn’t mean romance but it’s love, a love that grows with time; the love of a very close and near relative that develops and ripens with the years.
A similar thing we find also, two men, two tzaddikim, who loved each other so dearly, even more than a man loves a very gifted wife; I’m talking about Dovid and Yehonoson. They loved each other, it says, more than the love of a man for his wife (Shmuel II 1:26). And that’s saying a lot as we’re going to see yet.
Where did Dovid find room for such strong love for a person of flesh and blood? Dovid, we must know, wasn’t just a pious man. Dovid was a man whose life was dedicated to the great ideal of ahavas Hashem. If you don’t understand that, you know nothing about Dovid and you never will know anything about him. Dovid was the consummate oheiv Hashem.
A Heart Full of Love
All of his waking hours he was thinking about his one true love, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. As a boy, he lay in the fields while he was tending the sheep and he was thinking about one thing all the days, about the Creator. Even when he awoke at night, before he fell to sleep again, his mind reverted to the most fond of all matters, his love to Hashem; but especially when he was lying alone in the fields with his harp. He sang songs to Hashem, songs of love that are so overpowering in their emotion that to this day when we repeat them, we are inspired by them. Of course, not like Dovid himself but many people have gained greatness by singing his songs and attempting to experience at least a modicum of the great emotions that were stirring in his heart.
But Dovid himself, when he was alive, there’s no question what was doing in his heart! We understand from all Dovid’s words and his subsequent actions that Dovid loved Hakadosh Baruch Hu with an intense and overpowering emotion. It’s difficult for us to understand that because we know that a person can be devout, that he has a high and noble soul, a tzaddik, but to be head over heels in love with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? It sounds queer to us. But that’s what Dovid was – he felt actually a strong affection in his heart, an overpowering emotion of love that he lived with by day and night all his years.
And Yehonoson – he was a great man too, a sage and a tzaddik – he loved Dovid just as much (Shmuel I 18:1). It was a mutual bond of powerful love between two tzaddikim. Not friendship, not even affection; love. So much so that the Torah makes a point of stressing it.
A System of Love
And so the question arises: How could there be a place in such a heart, in such a mind, for love of a human being? Where did such great men like Yaakov and Yitzchok and Dovid and Yehonasan – and there are many more examples in the kisvei hakodesh – find room in their hearts for such things?
Now it may not bother us much but that’s because we don’t have hearts filled with love of Hashem. But these great men did; and in a heart like that there should be no room left over for the love of flesh and blood.
And it’s a phenomenon we can’t ignore because if the Torah goes out of its way to stress this attitude, this emotion, of these great men, so we see that it’s not a weakness to which they yielded. We’re talking about noble people with noble emotions who lived with thought, with seichel; they had a devised derech Hashem according to which they lived. And therefore we’ll have to say that not only is it not a contradiction to the thesis that a man must love Hashem with all of his heart, but it’s consistent and compatible with it – it’s included in ahavas Hashem.
The Source of Our Love
Now we’ll begin step by step to understand, at least according to our weak ability, some explanation of this mode of behavior.
Number one, the most important idea and the one that has to be forefront in our attitude when it comes to loving others: To love a fellow Jew is the service of Hashem. It’s not patriotism or nationalism; it’s not the love of a Chinaman for his fellow Chinaman or of an Inuit, an Eskimo, for his fellow Inuit. We have to get that into our heads; it has nothing to do with that – it’s avodas Hashem; it’s one of the taryag mitzvos. But it’s not only one of the taryag mitzvos; it’s a klal gadol baTorah. It’s one of the great generalizations of obeying Hashem, to love a fellow Jew (Bereishis Rabbah 24:7).
Now, why is that so? Why is it so important? Pay attention now because this is the foundation of everything we’ll speak about tonight. It’s because when you’re loving a fellow Jew, you’re loving somebody whom Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves. Oheiv amo yisroel – Hashem loves His people, Yisroel. “If Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves them, I’m going to love them too just because of that.” Oh, that’s already a different story! I’m not just a patriot for my people. I’m loving Hashem by loving those whom He loves.
The Greatness of Our Love
And it makes a big difference also because now the obligation is so much bigger. Because we’re not talking about our love, about a feeble and pathetic love. We have to lift ourselves up and try, as much as is humanly possible, to love our fellow Jews according to His love of them.
How much does He love them? He loves His children more than we could ever imagine. If you ever will love anybody in your life, it’s nothing like how much Hashem loves them. Whatever love you’ve ever experienced in your life it’s nothing compared to how much Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves you. And you and you and you. Who's you?
The most foolish fellow. The fellow with all faults. He’s ugly. He’s rude sometimes. He gets on your nerves. If he’s a frum Jew then Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves him with an intense and fiery love.
Loving By Hashem’s Standards
And if that's the case, then when we love a fellow Jew it's an entirely different mitzvah. A Jew is obligated to love a fellow Jew the way Hashem does which means it’s a tremendous obligation. I say ‘tremendous; but that’s an understatement. We have to realize that Torah opens up our minds, opens up our eyes, to vistas, to far off horizons, what's expected of the love for a fellow Jew.
Now, I’m far away from that myself. I'm saying this not for you; I’m listening to it myself as I’m saying it. Maybe a little bit of it will stick to us; but we have to learn it. We are expected to realize that because of the greatness of the Am Yisroel, because of Hashem’s great love for them, then if we love a fellow Jew we are acquiring a zechus, a tremendous merit. Even if you love him only a little bit, it's a merit that will give you reward and happiness in Olam Haba forever and ever; because that itself is love of Hashem, to love those whom Hashem loves!
