A couple told me how their cute tiny kids are giving them a “run for their money”, and are running the house. The parents are both sweet and gentle people, who desperately need to work on their Middos and become strong, happy, tough, assertive, and fearless; not sensitive, or worrisome, or apprehensive, and all kinds of weaknesses. יִנָא רוֹבִּגּ רַמאֹי שָׁלַּחַה יואל ד י The weakling shall say: I am a Gibbor!
Especially Novardok (and Slabodka) is perfect for them. But not working on Middos is a big Yetzer Hara, since working on Middos saves you from all kinds of Ruchaniyus and Gashmiyus problems. People can change if they cared enough, and realized how working on Middos can give them a much happier and pure life.
A Yid has to feel strong like a soldier (including women, who are indeed called Eishes “Chayil”). Being sensitive and petty about careless remarks that people give you can ruin a person’s life, Chas V'shalom. Instead, be strong and unsensitive B’shita (officially), and look down at getting involved in low-life stupidities. When you follow the Velt of Daas Baalei Battim who say: “You take that from him”, you don’t know how to laugh off other people who “hurt” you. “How can you live with a critical spouse? Nebach!” If you have no backbone, and you don’t value breaking Middos, then everything is hard. ןִמ אָלֶא אָרְבִנַה ןִמ קֶזֶנַהְו תֶלֶﬠוֹתַּה ןיֵא אֵרוֹבַּה ד קרפ ןוחטבה רעש תובבלה תובוח People cannot help you or harm you; only Hashem can; who sends people (including spouses) to test you, so you can become great and strong.
We also see how strong Moshe was. After breaking the Luchos, he smashes the Eigel. The Anav Mi'kol Adam was super tough, and no “pushover”! A Yungerman asked me advice about going to a Simcha where many people will besiege him to raise Tzedaka for them, and he can’t say “No”! And the magnitude of his involvement in Tzedaka causes are hurting his Ruchaniyus...
So I told him to Davka go to the Simcha, and to work on being a “mean” person. It is known that R' Elyashiv Zatzal was very strong in closing his doors to people who were disturbing him. He said that he liked Novardokers for this reason; i.e., that people couldn’t push them around.
