In this week’s parsha, Yitzchok Avinu instructed Yaakov Avinu to go to Charan to find a wife for himself. However, he first stopped off in the yeshiva of Shem V’Ever, eventually staying there for fourteen years. Why did he stop off there if his parents told him to go and get married? Let’s say your parents tell you to go to the store to pick something up, and you come back two weeks later with the object they wanted. You explain to them that you stopped off at a yeshiva to learn and that’s why you didn’t come back until now. Is that okay?
Sefer Pilpulei Charifta quotes the gemora in Kedushin (29:) that first someone should learn Torah and only then get married. Then the gemora brings the words of Shmuel and says that the halacha is first to get married and then learn Torah. Asks Rav Yochanan, how can you get married first if you are not going to be able to learn because supporting a family will take up a lot of your time? So, he says you should first learn then get married. Explains the gemora (according to Tosfos): Rav Yochanan, who holds that one should learn first, is talking about the people in Bavel who are very poor. Of course, such people should first learn because once they get married, they will get busy trying to support their family and won’t be able to learn. However, Shmuel is talking about the people who live in Eretz Yisroel who are wealthy. A wealthy person can first get married and then learn, since he has money to support himself and will therefore have time to learn.
When Yaakov Avinu left his father’s house, he was very wealthy so he intended to first get married and then learn. That’s what Rashi 28:10 tells us: “yatza laleches l’Charan” – originally, he intended to go to Charan and get married. However, on the way Elifaz came and took away all of his possessions, leaving with nothing but his walking stick. So now that Yaakov Avinu was poor, the halacha changed for him - first he must learn and only then he should get married. And that’s why he stayed in Yeshivas Shem V’Ever for fourteen years before going to Charan.
But the question still remains: why did Yaakov Avinu go and learn for fourteen years? Don’t you think he learned with his father Yitzchok Avinu? After all, the Torah tells us that Yaakov Avinu was an “ish tam yoshev ohalim”, he dwelled in the tents of Torah all day. So why did he have to go to learn in the Yeshiva of Shem v’Ever? Says Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky in Sefer Emes L’Yaakov: There are two types of learning Torah; there is Toras H’avos and Toras Shem V’Ever. Toras H’avos is Torah that Yaakov Avinu learned from his father. Of course, this was learning of the highest caliber, but Yaakov Avinu needed a different type of learning right now to help him withstand the tests he would face in the house of Lavan. To live amongst reshaim and remain steadfast in his Avodas Hashem, Yaakov Avinu needed to learn Toras Shem V’Ever. Shem V’Ever lived during the era of the mabul and dor haflaga. They were tzadikim who experienced the challenge of being surrounded by wickedness and remained strong. Therefore, Yaakov Avinu went to learn specifically from them for fourteen years. He needed that chizuk to help him go through the future years of nisyonos.
So too, we find (Vayeishev 37) that Yaakov Avinu loved his son Yosef more than the other brothers. Rashi says that Yaakov Avinu gave over to Yosef everything that he learned in Shem V’Ever. Yaakov Avinu saw with ruach hakodash that Yosef will have many years of nisyonos ahead, and that’s why he purposely gave over the Toras Shem V’Ever to Yosef and not the other brothers. Toras Shem V’Ever is described as “Toras hagalus” – how to survive in galus. The brothers were jealous of Yosef because they thought their father was giving over Toras H’avos to Yosef. That would be as if Yaakov Avinu was giving over his legacy exclusively to Yosef and the brothers were to be pushed aside. That’s why they were jealous. Yaakov didn’t explain to the shevatim that he was teaching Yosef the Torah of Shem V’Ever, the Torah of galus. In reality, the other brothers didn’t need that “Torah” and that’s why Yaakov Avinu didn’t teach it to them. It was only necessary for Yosef to learn and acquire.
The Bais Halevi asks, why does the pasuk in the beginning of the parsha say both “vayetzei” and “vayelech”? It should say, “vayetzei Yaakov m’Be’er Sheva l’Charan” – Yaakov left from Be’er Sheva to Charan. Why does it also have to say “and he went to Charan”? Says the Bais Halevi: Usually, when a person goes somewhere, the most important factor is either of two things – either he has to leave from where he is and it would not make a difference to where he is going or his destination is important and not where he is leaving from. But over here, when Yaakov Avinu was leaving Be’er Sheva and going to Charan, both the leaving was significant and where he was going to was also significant. He had to leave because Eisav Harasha wanted to kill him, and at the same time he had to go to Charan because his parents instructed him to find a wife over there. That’s why it says both “vayetzei” and “vayeilech”, because both were significant.
Truthfully, there was another reason for Yaakov Avinu to leave Be’er Sheva, because the people there were ovdei avoda zara, and of course there was Eisav as well. So, the “vayeitzei” was really significant and that’s why he had to go to Shem V’Ever, which is “vayeilech”, to place himself in good surroundings of Torah and yiras shomayim.
The yeshiva of Shem V’Ever represents escaping a world of bad influences and immersing yourself in Torah and Yiras Shamayim. Spending years and years in such an atmosphere fortified Yaakov Avinu with strength to survive his years of galus. Today, more than ever, we are living in a world of wicked influences which threaten our core. The only way to survive is to flee to the hallowed walls of “yeshivas Shem V’Ever” and spend time there. We have to make sure to be connected to a yeshivah, a Rav, a shul – a safe haven of kedusha which will fortify us and give us the strength to withstand our nisyonos in galus. In that way, we will be following the example of Yaakov Avinu, doing our part to ensure that our neshamos remain pure and secure in challenging times.
