The first step is to send her a little gift. A woman was telling me that she was fighting with her mother-in-law for a long time. So, I said, “Stop talking against your mother-in-law.”
“What can I do?” she said. “She’s my enemy.”
I said, “The first thing is to send her a little gift.” That’s number one. And even if she’s going to belittle you again and she’ll say, “Such a gift she sends me!”, don’t worry. Because she’s going to feel, however, a certain warmth, a softness towards you. לו ירחיב אדם מתן – A man’s gifts open the doors for him (Mishlei 18:16). It’s important to give gifts; small gifts.
A father-in-law was making trouble for someone here in the shul. I said, “Send your father-in-law a seventy-five cents pair of cheap cufflinks. Mail it to him; it’s a good beginning. Don’t think of it as a small thing.” And therefore, לו ירחיב אדם מתן – a man’s gifts open the doors for him. You can make shalom with gifts.
Reprinted from the Parshas Toldos email of Toras Avigdor, - Tape #824.
