Sometime after his chasuna, Binyamin* decided he was going to start putting on a shtreimel. However, Binyamin’s new wife was wholly opposed to his new decision. She’d grown up differently, and a shtreimel wasn’t part of the look she was used to. The shtreimel started hindering their shalom bayis, so Binyamin went to seek the guidance of Reb Shalom Zalman Auerbach.
Binyamin told Reb Shalom Zalman his story: Thirty years prior, he’d gotten mixed up with the wrong friends, who had influenced him negatively. Slowly, he’d lost the ways of his upbringing, including the dress code, but eventually, he found himself returning to the fold and heading back in the right direction.
In his new upswing, he was suggested a suitable shidduch with a woman who, although she was on a higher level in Yiddishkeit than he was, would assist him in his growth. They married, and he continued growing from level to level with her. Finally came the day where he felt he’d grown in his Yiddishkeit to put on a shtreimel, per his family’s tradition, and so he went to a store and bought a $2,000 non-refundable shtreimel. He came home and showed his wife, but she wasn’t pleased at all.
Reb Shlomo Zalman asked him, “You aren’t willing to sell your shalom bayis for $2,000? Your wife has done so much for you. If she doesn’t like the shtreimel, then don’t wear it.”
“But, really, what about the money?” Binyamin replied. “I’m spending most of my day in Kollel, and we don’t have spare cash. $2,000 is a big loss.”
Reb Shlomo Zalman then walked over to his closet and pulled out his shtreimel. “You see my shtreimel? It’s very old, and I need a new one. Kindly sell me yours, and I’ll pay you in full.” Binyamin agreed, and Reb Shlomo Zalman gave him $2,000 and took the shtreimel.
That Friday, Reb Shlomo Zalman put it on the new shtreimel, but it didn’t fit. He had to keep adjusting it so it wouldn’t slip down. His family saw him struggling and asked him, “Tatty, we understand that you bought the shtreimel to reinstall shalom, but if it doesn’t fit you, why are you wearing it? At least wear your regular one!”
“A shtreimel that restored shalom in a Jewish home is the shtreimel that I always want to wear!” Reb Shlomo Zalman told them. “Not only that, but this shtreimel I would want to wear throughout the week, not only on Shabbos. This is what I want to be buried with.” With that, Reb Shlomo Zalman continued wearing his new shtreimel.
He valued the mitzvah and became uplifted from it, to the point that he was willing to wear it although it was very big.
