And in the morning she turned out to be Leah. (Bereishis 29:25)
But at night, it was not Leah [to the best of Yaakov’s knowledge]. This is because Yaakov gave signs to Rachel [by which to identify herself ], and when Rachel saw that they are bringing Leah to him, she said, “Now my sister will be humiliated!” So she went and gave her those signs. (Rashi)
Rewarding Silence
Rachel kept quiet when Leah was being married off, instead of her, to Yaakov. Let’s talk a little about the virtue of silence.
One of the Torah’s principles, about which people have been speaking a lot lately, is the prohibition on lashon hara. The truth is since the Chofetz Chayim revolutionized our awareness of this important matter, people pay a lot of attention to it, and try hard to avoid transgressing this prohibition. The Chofetz Chayim changed the world for the better.
We know that lashon hara is a serious sin, and this is true. But we need to know that besides the prohibition to speak bad about people, there is more to silence than this. Silence is a generally praiseworthy trait. The virtue of keeping silent is not just when there is some lashon hara that could be said.
There is an amazing story about the Rebbe of Rozhin, one of the great Chassidic leaders of about 150 years ago. It was his custom that at the tisch he held with his Chassidim, he would not speak divrei Torah. He would just sit in silence.
It is recounted that a non-Jew once entered the Rozhiner’s beis midrash on Shabbos night and found them sitting there at the tisch. After he walked out, he was queried regarding what he saw there. He replied, “I saw a long table with Jews sitting on both sides. At the head of the table was an old man. He was silent, and everyone was listening...”
This is a wonderful description. The beautiful word that was spoken at the tisch was... silence!
Song of Silence
It is written: Hashem keeps the world up on nothing.
There is nothing that holds the world up; it is suspended in space, on nothing. However, Chazal interpret this verse Midrashically and associate the word בלימה with בולם, which means to shut. Thus, they say that the world keeps up its existence thanks to those who “shut” their mouths at the time of a quarrel.
Hashem keeps the world going in the merit of someone who keeps silent. This is the foundation of the whole world.
A person can acquire greatness in an unexpected way. He is not toiling in Torah and mitzvos. He just keeps quiet at the time of a quarrel. He doesn’t even do anything. This is in accordance with Chazal’s teaching: Whoever refrains from committing a sin is granted reward as if he did a mitzvah.
We know that the angels sing songs of praise to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. They sing, “Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh... Baruch kevod Hashem...” But there are other angels, chayos hakodesh, who are called chashmal.
The Vilna Gaon explains that the word chashmal is a combination of the two words חש מל. Chash means keeping silent, and mal means speaking. Sometimes the chayos are silent, and sometimes they speak.
The Vilna Gaon goes on to say that this is the significance of chazaras hashatz. How so?
When we praise Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we need to reach the level of song in its fullness, which is speech together with silence. The Amidah recited by the chazan is song, and the silence of the congregation is song, and together it makes a very special song: chash mal.
There are two ways to sing to Hashem. There is the song of “Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh... Baruch kevod Hashem...” and there is the song of silence. Silence is not just refraining from doing aveiros. Silence is also song.
Rachel’s Silence
When a person speaks, he has the ability to say forbidden things and he has the ability to say permitted things. But he has another ability altogether: to remain silent. In fact, the most beautiful deeds ever done were deeds of silence.
This can be seen from the Midrash that explains how Rachel Imeinu will redeem us from our long, bitter galus:
Said R. Shmuel bar Nachman: When Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, Avraham came before Hakadosh Baruch Hu...He said, “O Master of the World! Why did You exile my children and deliver them into the hands of the nations who kill them cruelly, and You destroyed Beis Hamikdash which is the place where I placed my son Yitzchak on the altar as an offering to You?” Hakadosh Baruch Hu answered him, “Your children sinned and transgressed the whole Torah...” Immediately Avraham began to speak before Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and said, “O Master of the World! I was a hundred years old when You gave me a son. And when he came of age, and was a young man of thirty-seven, You told me to bring him as an offering to You. I made myself unfeeling towards him, and did not have mercy on him. I even bound him on the altar myself. Will You not remember this for my sake, and have mercy on my children?” Yitzchak began to speak and said, “O Master of the World! When my father said to me, ‘G-d will choose for Himself the lamb for the offering ; it is my son,’ I did not oppose Your words. Rather, I willingly allowed myself to be bound on the altar and I stretched out my neck under the knife. Will You not remember this for my sake, and have mercy on my children?” Yaakov began to speak and said, “O Master of the World! Was I not in the house of Lavan for twenty years? And when I left his house, the evil Eisav met up with me and sought to kill my children, and I risked my very life to protect them... I raised them as one raises baby chickens. I suffered over them the pain of child-rearing ; the majority of my days were spent in great pain for their sake. And now, will You not remember this for my sake, to have mercy on my children?” Moshe began to speak and said, “O Master of the World! Was I not Yisrael’s faithful shepherd for forty years? I ran like a horse before them in the Wilderness. And when the time came for them to enter the Land, You decreed upon me that my bones should fall in the Wilderness. And now that they have been exiled, You have sent for me to eulogize them and cry for them...” At that time, Rachel jumped up before Hakadosh Baruch Hu and said, “O Master of the World! You know very well that Your servant Yaakov loved me greatly and worked for my father for seven years for me, and when the seven years were up and the time came for me to marry my husband, my father made a plan to switch me with my sister and give her to my husband. “This was very hard for me to bear, for I found out about the plan, and I informed my husband and I gave him a sign by which to distinguish between me and my sister, so my father would not be able to switch me. Afterward I reconsidered, and I renounced my desire, and I had mercy on my sister, lest she end up disgraced. “In the evening they switched me and gave my sister to my husband, and I gave to my sister all the signs that I had given to my husband, so that he would think she is Rachel. I did chesed to my sister and I did not envy her and I did not cause her to end up in disgrace... “I am just flesh and blood, dust and ashes, yet I was not jealous of the woman who married my husband, and I did not cause her to end up in embarrassment and disgrace. Whereas You are the living and enduring King, the Merciful One. Why were You jealous of the empty idols they worshipped, and exiled my children to be slain by the sword, and let their enemies do with them as they please?” The mercy of Hakadosh Baruch Hu was immediately aroused, and He said, “For you, Rachel, I will bring Yisrael back to their place.” Thus it is written, “So said Hashem: ‘A voice has been heard in a high place, lamenting, a bitter wailing, Rachel crying over her children; she has refused to be consoled for her children, for they are gone.’” And it is written: “So said Hashem, ‘Withhold your voice from crying and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your deed... and there is hope for your final destiny, so speaks Hashem — the children will return to their borders.’”
Let us understand what happened. Avraham came before Hashem and argued: Did I go through ten trials for naught? Hashem answered: But on the other hand, the Jewish People committed very many sins. Yitzchak came and said: Was it for naught that I stretched out my neck to be slaughtered? And Hashem gave the same answer. And so it was with Yaakov and with Moshe. None of them succeeded in saving the Jewish People.
Until Rachel Imeinu spoke up. What was her great deed, by which merit the Jewish people was saved from destruction and brought back from exile? What great act did she do? The answer is that she remained silent. She did not tell Yaakov. And the power of this silence reverberates until the end of time.
It is true that Rachel did other wonderful things, but the main thing she did was simply remain silent. Every person has this wonderful, amazing ability: he can restrain himself.
Every driver knows the first rule of driving: if there is no power of restraint (i.e., brakes), then don’t get in the driver’s seat in the first place! This is because restraint, the power to stop, is the most important thing in a car — as it is in other areas of life as well.
I wish to emphasize that I am not speaking about lashon hara. I am speaking generally about a person’s ability to remain silent. Sometimes it is necessary to remain silent even when no lashon hara or other prohibition is involved.
To demonstrate this point, let’s imagine that Rachel, instead of keeping quiet, would have told Yaakov that her father was trying to sneak Leah in, and said, “Watch out!”
What sin would this be? Would it be lashon hara? On the contrary, she would be doing a mitzvah. Yaakov wanted Rachel to have secret signs between her and him so that he would marry the woman of his choice. She would only be honoring her promise and saving Yaakov from anguish by telling him what he needed to know.
(Parenthetically, Rachel did not lose out in the end, for it was from her that Klal Yisrael was built. Rachel Imeinu was the akeres habayis, the mainstay of the home. Everything was due to her, because she brought in Leah, and also Bilhah and Zilpah. She built Yaakov’s entire household.)
Getting back to the point: Since Rachel would have transgressed no prohibition by telling Yaakov, why didn’t she tell? Because her sister would end up being embarrassed. Rachel knew how to use the “brakes.” She knew how to remain silent at times when other people would feel the need to speak up and react.
