Reb Yaakov Meir Shechter Shlita tells a story of two neighbors in Yerushalayim, who lived on opposite sides of the street. They both learned in kollel, but looking at their front doors, one immediately recognized that when it came to money, they weren't in the same financial bracket. The entrance of one shouted poverty, while the other one noticeably had money.
Sometimes, the poorer neighbor saw the mailman bring an envelope filled with money to the neighbor across from him. He understood that his neighbor was better off financially because of these periodical gifts, and he was curious to know who was sending the cash.
One day, when the mailman came with the package, this neighbor bent over his head to try to make out the name on the envelope. His heart fell when he read the name. The sender of this generous gift was his chavrusah and good friend from years before. He asked himself, "Why does he send money to my neighbor and not to me?" He was so bothered that he couldn't fall asleep. In the morning, he wrote to his friend. "I am still friends with you. The friendship of our youth is still fresh in my memory. Nevertheless, I cannot hold back from writing these words. How could you forget me and send money to my neighbor? I try to judge you favorably, but I haven't succeeded in doing so."
Five days later, he received a response. The letter had just six words: "My dear friend, you never asked." In other words, he was saying, "How can I know that you don't have money? I don't have ruach hakodesh to know these things. Ask, and you will also receive."
Similarly, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "I want to give you a lot. Just ask for it and I will give it to you immediately." (There is a difference between the mashal and the nimshal, because the wealthy friend had no way to know that his friend needed money, whereas, Hashem knows who needs money, even before we ask for it. Nevertheless, Hashem established the world in a way that to receive, one has to ask for it.)
A family came to Reb Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld zt’l and told him that their sons die when they are young, r'l. The girls live, but the boys are niftar. Reb Yosef Chaim told them, "It seems that you suffer from an ayin hara. Therefore, when you have sons in the future, I advise that you don't buy new clothes for them. They should wear second-hand clothes, items that your extended family gives you, or you can take clothes from gemachim, and the like, but don't buy new clothes for them. If your sons ask for new clothes, then you can buy them. Otherwise, they should only wear second-hand clothes."
This family had a child, a son, and they were careful to dress him in second-hand clothes. Even for the bris, they didn't buy new clothes for the child. When the child was three years old, and there was a chalakah, the parents thought that perhaps the child would ask for new clothes, like other children his age received, but the child didn't ask for it, so he didn't get it.
At his bar mitzvah, his parents also didn't buy new clothes for him. When the bachur was engaged, he didn't wear new clothes for the vort. The chasunah was approaching, and the boy noticed that his parents weren't planning to buy new clothes for him. As far as he knew, his parents weren't particularly poor, so this time, he humbly asked them for at least a new shirt for his chasunah. His mother showed him a drawer in their home. There was a lot of money in it. She told him, "This is the money we put aside to buy clothes for your chalakah, for your bar mitzvah, and for your engagement. If you had requested, you would have received all this."
The nimshal is a lesson in tefillah. Hashem has a lot to give us. If we ask for it, we will receive.
Halichos Shlomo (from Reb Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt'l, ch.9, 16 הערה) writes that the most mesugal place for tefillos to be answered is at the end of Tachanun, after the prayer שומר ישראל, before saying the paragraph מתרצה ברחמים. Reb Shlomo Zalman said that one should pray at this place for his needs in a manner that no one knows that he is doing so. Reb Shlomo Zalman said that he read in a sefer that the requests said at that time are more likely to be answered than the tefillos one says in Shemoneh Esrei (however, as the sefer Halichos Shlomo points out, this is a great chiddush).
Reb Shlomo Zalman added, "The main thing is that one must believe that whenever we pray, Hashem will hear our tefillos – at any hour of the day. One can say Tehillim, or one can utter a tefillah in his own words, beginning with the words מלפניך רצון יהי, 'it shall be Your will...' and he can say Hashem's name, and ask all his requests. Similarly, Igros Chazon Ish (vol.3, 23) writes, "A person is allowed to make a short tefillah for his needs, and he can say Hashem's name. He can say this tefillah at any time of the day; it doesn't have to be in Shemoneh Esrei. He should begin the tefillah with the words מלפניך רצון יהי."
The Gemara (Nedarim 50a) tells that Reb Akiva's wife sent him to study Torah. After twelve years of studying Torah from the Tanaim Reb Eliezer and Reb Yehoshua, he returned home. He didn't go inside his house yet, and from behind the door, he heard a rasha say to his wife, "Your father acted correctly [when he forbade you from enjoying anything of his wealth]. First of all, you married someone who isn't like you [because when they married, Reb Akiva was an am ha'aretz]. Secondly, your husband left you like an almanah all these years."
Reb Akiva's wife replied, "If he would listen to me, I would tell him to learn Torah for another twelve years in yeshiva." When Reb Akiva heard this, he said, "Since she gives me permission, I will go back to yeshiva." He studied for another twelve years in yeshiva. Then he returned home with 24,000 students.
The renowned question is why Reb Akiva didn’t come into his home to say hello to his wife. He was at the door of his house. Why did he abruptly turn around and return to his yeshiva?
Reb Akiva knew that his wife was davening for him to become a talmid chacham. After twelve years, he already had 12,000 students. (After another twelve years, he had 24,000.) If she were to discover the greatness in Torah that her husband attained, her tefillos wouldn't be as passionate anymore. Having a husband, a Rosh yeshiva of 12,000 students, is also a fine accomplishment. Therefore, Reb Akiva didn't go home. He didn’t want his wife to know his accomplishments, so that her tefillos that he grow in Torah will continue.
