Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho!
Mazeltov to Moishe Botnick on the occasion of his engagement. Mazeltov to Benyomin Warmflash on the occasion of his engagement. May they use out the period of yokor mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Mendel Lavner on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Avremi Creimer on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Benny Shmidt on the birth of their son. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Ari Schapiro on the birth of their son. May they bring them up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be true chayolim! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
The following story, which I have already sent out once before (about 7 years ago) was originally shared with me by Rabbi Shaya Gopin, shliach of the Rebbe in Hartford Connecticut:
Rabbi Michoel Ber Weissmandel was born in Debrecen, in Hungary, and was the son in law of the Nitra Rov. A tremendous gaon and a prodigious educator, Rabbi Weissmandel became famous for his efforts to save his brethren during the holocaust. He himself escaped from the train that transported his wife and children to Auchwitz (where they perished r”l hy”d), and didn’t cease his tireless efforts to try to obtain freedom for as many Jews as possible.
During the height of the war, Rabbi Weissmandel managed to stop the deportation of 25,000 Rumanian Jews by bribing Adolf Eichmann's second-in-command, at a cost of $50,000, or two dollars a head. Encouraged by this success, he conceived a more ambitious plan: if the Nazis were susceptible to bribery on this relatively modest scale, why not on a grand scale? Why not try and buy the life of every Jew in Europe? The "Europa Plan", as it was called, was an attempt to rescue every remaining Jew by giving the Nazis a massive bribe.
By paying huge ransom sums directly to the Nazis, the deportations throughout Europe were to be stopped, and the killing centers were to be dismantled. The belief was that a substantial sum given to the right person might stop the ongoing slaughter, and they held direct negotiations with the SS representatives responsible for the so-called "Final Solution", the murder of European Jews.
Sadly, tragically, these activities never received the expected support from the Free World, and as a result his efforts were thwarted. After the War, Rabbi Weissmandel accused the leaders of the Free World of turning blind eye on the Holocaust, and also of ignoring the pleas for help coming from Europe. Rabbi Weissmandel was frustrated and devastated by what he felt was the avoidable and preventable murder of hundreds of thousands of Jews during the end of the war. His memoirs were published in “min hameitzar”.
When he came to the U.S.A., he was a depressed and broken man. During a yechidus with the Friediker Rebbe, he told over his story and he was crying, and the Rebbe was crying with him. The Rebbe and the Gaon sat there crying. Then the Rebbe went over to him, took him by the arm and said "Ver hot dos ales geton? S'iz doch fort der Oibershter" [Who did this? It was, after all, the Eibishter].
His talmidim said this yechidus changed him, enabled him to continue life (he eventually established the Nitra Yeshiva in Mount Kisco NY, which he headed until his demise).
[A footnote to the above story: R’ Menachem Weissmandel is the son of Rabbi Michoel Ber, and was the mashgiach at the Agriprocessor plant in Postville. He shared the following with R’ Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin: R’ Michoel was very close with the Satmar Rov (R’ Yoel) a”h. Once he heard that people (mecharcherei riv) had spoken to the Satmar Rov negatively about the Frierdige Rebbe, and were attempting to (ch”v) turn him against the FR. R’ Michoel Ber donned his Shabbos garments, and travelled immediately to the SR, to express his admiration and esteem for the Frierdige Rebbe].
This story may help us with a Rashi in this week’s Parsha that seems singularly baffling: When at long last Yosef was born to Rochel, she expressed her joy with the statement אסף אלקים את חרפתי. One of the interpretations that Rashi gives for this is:
ומדרש אגדה כל זמן שאין לאשה בן אין לה במי לתלות ז, סרחונה משיש לה בן תולה. בו מי שבר כלי, זה, בנך מי אכל תאנים, אלו בנך [The midrash says, as long as a woman has no child, she has no one on whom to blame her misdeeds. Once she has a child, however, she has a scapegoat! Whatever her husband accuses her of, she can defend herself: ‘It wasn’t me, it was your son!’]
Which seems, to me, extremely bewildering. Here we have Rochel Imeinu, who was suffering the tremendous pain of childlessness for all these years. In addition to the loneliness and yearning, she was left doubting her own worth as a result (as Rashi tells us that she reckoned ‘if I was as worthy as my sister, I, too, would bear a child). The intensity of her pain is encapsulated in her declaration to Yaakov “If I can’t bear a child then my life is worthless and I’d rather be dead”!
When the big day finally arrives, and she bears her first, much-anticipated child (not to mention that this is Yosef HaTzaddik), what does she celebrate? “Boruch Hashem! Now I have who to blame all of the problems in the house on”??!!
Even if her name was being cleared in a matter in which she was truly innocent, it seems to be insignificant, in the scheme of things. Is this what she cares about at such a time, whether or not she’ll be suspected of breaking the dish or eating an extra knish. But in fact, it seems that she was referring to instances in which, in fact, she was really at fault. She seems, according to Rashi (and the medrash) to be rejoicing in having someone to blame her own indiscretions on. Is that the value we place on children?! Can you imagine a woman saying to her friend “Mazeltov! Boruch Hashem, finally you have someone to blame when your husband asks who smeared margarine all over the drapes!” Really? What does Rashi mean with this this explanation (especially since Rashi already gave two other, seemingly perfectly satisfactory, explanations)?!
[Another point: In many instances she would–seemingly–still have to take responsibility for her own actions. After all, not everything could be blamed on the baby. Imagine this: Yaakov comes home in the evening and peruses the mail. “What’s this, my credit card is maxed out! Who did all this shopping?!” And Rochel calls out: “It was the baby, he’s impossible, he’s a shopaholic”. Uh, probably not gonna work. Or Yaakov says “Who got this parking ticket on the car and didn’t tell me?!” And Rochel says: “Oh no, has the baby been driving again without permission?!” Or maybe during the meal, Yaakov complains that the soup is burnt. And Rochel says “Oh, this wasn’t my fault, it was the baby. As much as I beg him to stick to the recipe, he can’t seem to follow instructions].
There must be a way of understanding this and some important lesson that we can learn from it as well. [But I will begin with a disclaimer: I have been troubled by this for years, decades in fact, and none of my attempted solutions from the past have stuck in my mind, which means that they were not really satisfactory, even to my own mind. I will not be surprised if now, as well, you will say that the question is still better than the answer. But the question still demands that we at least attempt to resolve it, so I have no choice but to do my best, and will be glad to hear other/better answers from all of you].
To begin with, let me try to suggest a solution on a simple level (it has to, after all, fit with pshutoshelmikro), by first pointing out another question. In Rashi (as well as in the midrash which is Rashi’s source): The mother not only uses the presence of the baby to shift the blame from her own shoulders, but she takes it further (seemingly), and uses the child to shift the blame to the husband, saying (in response to the question “Who dunit?”): “It was your son”.
Which seems unnecessarily provocative and confrontational. If she wants to clear her own name, wouldn’t it be perfectly adequate to say “It wasn’t me it was the baby”, or even to say “it was our baby”. Why the subtle (or not so subtle) incrimination of her husband, -“your baby”- that seems to serve no purpose?
Perhaps on a simple, basic level, we can offer the following solution. Sometimes a woman is married to a perfect husband. Does that mean her life will be bliss? Not necessarily. You see the wife may be human, and perhaps she sees herself as being full of faults. The fact that her husband seems infallible may actually create a wedge in their relationship. She always feels guilty and inadequate next to him. The more perfect her husband seems to her, the more her own shortcomings seem magnified in her own eyes, resulting in tension, discomfort, and a rift between them (see also Kiddushin 49A, and Rashi there “shvach yuchsin).
Enter: the baby! The baby just provided the best marriage therapy. Because now the imbalance in the marriage has been somewhat corrected. The perfect husband is no longer faultless; he shares equally in all of the problems (and chaos and havoc) in the household. “Who broke the chair?” “Who smashed my hat?” “Who left all of the lights on?” “Why, dear, it was your son! You are part of this problem. We both have to work towards bettering ourselves”.
In that case this is not incidental; even though this is a side effect, a fringe benefit, of the birth of the child, it is a matter of great significance. After all, the healthy balance in the home and resulting positive atmosphere are of utmost importance in the marriage.
So much for my psychology. But there must be something deeper as well. Aside from the fact that every Rashi contains “yeino shel Torah”, in this case Rashi states explicitly that this interpretation is a “medrash agadah”, it is a homiletic explanation (not a course in psychology), it is “aggada” about which we know that they contain the majority of the secrets of the Torah. So let us try to understand the Rashi on a deeper level:
We know that every husband and wife represent the Eibishter and Yidden, and how much more is this applicable with Yaakov Ovinu and Rochel Imeinu (as we see in Targum Yonasson in our Parsha, that the malochim going up and down the ladder (in Yaakov’s dream) were surprised to notice that his face was identical to the face on the kisei hakovod). We also know that Yosef (who received his name al shem יוסף' הליבן אחר) represents the avoda of working with the acher–the (temporarily) distanced Jew–and transforming him into a “ben”,-a son- into a baal teshuva.
What is the unique power of Teshuva? In the avoda of tzaddikim, bad, evil and impurity need to be avoided and rejected. The focus of the tzaddik is on matters that are pure and holy, or–at least–that have the potential to be pure and holy. But there are those other parts of the world, that are under the umbrella of sholosh kelipos hatmeios, that need to be (in the world of the tzaddik) avoided like the plague.
In contrast, though, through avodas haTeshuva, something much deeper comes to light. Teshuva reveals how even the bad in the world is not detached from Elokus, how nothing is so low that it can become separated from the Oneness of Hashem. The ultimate power of Teshuva, the confidence in the ability to rectify even the most severe misdeeds, stems from the realization that the aveiros don’t change the big picture, they don’t–can’t-have bearing on the ultimate goal, because they, too, are after all from Hashem. לא היו ישראל ראויין' כואלא ליתן פתחון פה לבעלי תשובה, the sins, and the resulting descent of the person who committed them and the world are certainly not ch”v irrevocable, because they too are part of the נורא עלילה עבניאדם, part of the Eibishter’s Master Plan. אין עוד מלבדו ואפילו כשפים.
What provides the baal Teshuva with the conviction that he can clean up the mess that he made, that no damage is so terrible that it can’t be undone, is the realization and acceptance that "Ver hut dos ales geton? S'iz doch fort der Oibershter". The seemingly worst problems in the world are as much the Eibishter’s doing as the greatest miracles, and fully under His control. [In a letter sent by R’ Yoel Kahan, the chozer of the Rebbe, to a prominent Satmar chossid (many years ago) he challenges the suggestion (which made up one of the cornerstones of the Satmar ideology) that the establishment of the State of Israel was the work of Kellipah, of the forces of impurity. “Kelipah doesn’t do things in the world” RY declared, “it is not a real existence. Only G-d exists, and anything that takes place can be attributed only to Him”].
When Yosef was born, the rejoicing of Rochel was over the immense power of Teshuva that was revealed in the world (through Yosef). She declared אסף אלקים את חרפתי,-Hashem has removed my shame. There is no negativity in the world, because we have acquired a new and deeper perspective: מי שבר כוס זה-בנך,-we are never powerless to do Teshuva and to rectify, because in truth it is He that created the situation, it is, after all, You, Eibishter who brought this about, You, who planned this situation, to bring Your beloved son to the great level of Teshuva. "Ver hot dos ales geton? S'iz doch fort der Oibershter". Now, therefore, it is up to You to help me extricate myself from this folly and reverse the damage.
The chiddush of Chassidus is the idea of Teshuva, the ability to recognize the way everything is inherently Elokus. And this is what empowers the bringing back so many tens of thousands of baalei Teshuva in the most literal sense.
[The Mitteler Rebbe, the baal hahilula and baal hageula of the coming week, was once “caught” by his father, the Alter Rebbe, fasting. When he was confronted about this, it emerged that it was a taanis chalom, a fast on account of a bad dream. When the Alter Rebbe asked about the content of the dream, the Mitteler Rebbe was reluctant to disclose it, until the Alter Rebbe demanded of him to. The Mitteler Rebbe then revealed that he saw a river, and the magid was crossing it via a bridge that was shaky, and then the Alter Rebbe crossed it on a sturdy bridge. When the Alter Rebbe heard the dream, he said “Why are you upset? The explanation is simple! My Rebbe, the magid, was involved in making tzaddikim, while I am involved in making baalei Teshuva].
We just marked the annual kinnus hasheluchim. Thousands of shluchim, from all corners of the world, got together to recharge and renew and relive. Despite all of the eloquent speeches, the many articles and write-ups and tributes, there is nothing that I or anyone can really say that can do justice – even somewhat – to the mind-boggling achievements of these shluchim in every single area.
But what is behind it, the ideology that empowers and fuels these success’, is the teachings of Chassidus, the realization and conviction that מי שבר כוס זה–בנך, that "Ver hot dos ales geton? S'iz doch fort der Oibershter". This outlook enables the shliach to face the odds of כל העולם כולו מעבר אחד ואברהם מעבר אחד and to prevail. Other leaders recoiled at the idea of sending an individual to a foreign, even hostile, environment on his own. They told the Rebbe ‘For us it would only be viable to send an entire kollel’. But the shliach is undaunted, because he knows he is not alone,-it is all the Eibishter.
And this realization needs to strengthen and reassure each and every one of us, in whatever situation we are in that may overwhelm us. We can never become discouraged by any hardships of any sort,-even if they are by our own doing. Because nothing is ever apart from the Eibishter, and we need merely to do our shlichus to reveal it.
[The chassidim of the Mitteler Rebbe were once travelling, and–as is to be expected of chassidim–were reviewing words of chassidus on the way. Presently it began to rain, and they ran into the first available shelter, while continuing to learn chassidus. It subsequently came to light that their shelter was none other than.. a cloister (a church)! They were devastated and scandalized! A Jew would not even go near such a structure, and here they spent all this time inside, saying words of Torah! They ran to the Mitteler Rebbe to ask what to do, but the Rebbe laughed. (It is said that the Strasheler heard about this, and this was one of the causes of his rift with the Mitteler Rebbe). The Rebbe once repeated this story during a farbrengen and explained that pnimiyus haTorah has the power to break through even such boundaries that are according to Torah. VAKML].
And another angle to this. There can sit a bochur or a yungerman, in one corner of the world or the other, and be plagued by doubts and overwhelmed by uncertainties. “Lomoh zeh onoichi?!” he asks himself. Who says that this is what I’m really supposed to be doing? Maybe my real shlichus, the true mission of my neshomo, is somewhere else, doing something else with someone else. Every day, even before modeh ani, he dwells on his doubts. ‘Maybe I’m really meant to be running a Chabad House in Timbuctoo, or serving hotdogs in Kalamazoo, or teaching Kaballa in Honolulu’.
If this were before Gimmel Tamuz, he tells himself, then I surely would have clarity. Then surely the Rebbe would have given me clear unequivocal directives regarding what I’m meant to be doing for the rest of my life (or, better yet, I surely would have received a personal phone call from the mazkirus, summoning me to 770 so that the Rebbe can map out the rest of my life for me). But in our era of concealment, how can I ever know that I’m not completely on the wrong track (barking up the wrong tree)?!
But this bochur or yungerman needs to remember: "Ver hut dus ales getun? S'is duch furt der Oibershter" You learn chassidus, you can even philosophize and pontificate about chassidus. Why when it comes to real life do you suddenly forget the basics? The Eibishter is the One who is running the world. We have to go through our steps, as designated by Him, but ultimately, if you did your part, then the fact that you are doing what you’re doing is the clearest indication that this is your shlichus, this is the mission of your neshomo, this is exactly where the Eibishter wants you to be and what He wants you to be preoccupied with. Can that change at some later date? Possibly, and at that time you’ll have to go through whatever steps you have to determine what the Eibishter wants from you then. But- then, too-once you end up somewhere, there is no further room for questioning, because you have already received the clearest response from the Al-mighty bichvodo ube’atzmo regarding what He wants from you!
Let us use the inspiration of the kinus hashluchim, and of chodesh Kislev in general, to rededicate us to the fulfilment of our mission. We can’t be intimidated by any perceived difficulty in the world, because we always remember that it is all from Hashem, and He is (that’s what we got to believe) on our side! Therefore, by doing our part we will inevitably succeed in revealing in the entire world that Ein Od Milvado! L’chaim! May we all do our part to finalize our shlichus, strengthened by the recognition that all is from the Eibishter, and may the Eibishter finally reveal for all to see that everything that took place was for the sake of His beloved son, through the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
לזכות 'ר שלום מרדכי הלוי בן, רבקה לישועה וגאולה בפשטות, ובגשמיות למטה ט"מיי"תומ! ממש ולזכות ר' בברוך מרדכי בן חי' אסתר לרפו"ש ורפו"ק ואויוש"ט מתוך בריאות הנכונה וכט"ס
