By Miriam Zakon
In the time of the Chidah (R’ Chaim Yosef Dovid Azulai) there lived a talmid chochom who suffered from terrible illness and pain. In despair, he decided to visit the Chidah and ask for a blessing. When he entered the Chidah’s Beis Medrash, he found the great man giving a shiur on a certain topic in the Gemara.
Fell into a Deep Sleep
Not wanting to disturb, he sat quietly in the back waiting until the Chidah finished. His journey to the Chidah had been a long and tiring one, and in the warmth of the Beis Medrash, the talmid chochom fell into a deep sleep.
Suddenly he felt like he was dead. He was surrounded by his family and friends who were escorting him to his final resting place. They eulogized him, they asked his forgiveness, and then they turned back to their homes, and he was left alone.
The quiet of the grave was soon broken as an angel came to escort him to the Heavenly Court for judgment. It’s a long way from this world to the next, and the talmid chochom found it exhausting as he walked with the angel. When the angel said it would take two days of walking to reach, the talmid chochom was shocked, “Two days? I’m exhausted. I can’t walk much farther.”
Asking for a Ride from the Carriage Driver
As they were speaking, he heard the sound of a carriage approaching. He looked up hopefully, but saw it was sagging beneath the weight of its heavy load – a huge trunk. The talmid chochom asked the driver, “Could I possibly get a ride with you?”
The driver laughed, “Do you have any idea what is in the trunk? It’s filled with your sins. Tell me, do you really want to ride with the sins that will implicate you?”
The man stared in horrified disbelief. Could this really contain his sins? Impossible! He hadn’t committed so many sins in his lifetime! Again, the driver laughed, “This? This is nothing! There wasn’t enough room in my carriage for all your sins; there are dozens more coming after me!”
The talmid chochom saw that, indeed, more carriages were following on the road. As each of them passed he asked the driver what load he was carrying, and with a sinking heart, he heard the same answer – they were each carrying his sins.
Finally, the dismal convoy came to an end. Only one more coach drove up, a small one bearing an undersized trunk.
Almost in despair, the talmid chochom asked the driver what he was carrying. “Oh, this small trunk? It contains your mitzvos.” The verdict seemed to be a foregone conclusion. On one side, stacked so high you couldn’t even see the top, were the boxes of sins; on the other side the pitifully small box that held the mitzvos. A voice intoned, “He shall be brought to Gehinnom.” Two demons immediately appeared at the man’s side to bring him to where he would carry out his dreaded sentence.
The Angel Tries to Defend the Talmid Chochom
Before they could move, an angel dressed in gleaming white appeared, “Where are you taking him?” he demanded. The demons replied, “To Gehinnom.” The angel turned to the judges of the Heavenly Tribunal. “Have you taken into consideration the terrible suffering this man went through in the physical world?”
The judges began to leaf through the book of the man’s life. Seeing the suffering he’d undergone, they ordered that half of the sin-filled crates be discarded.
“And what about the illnesses? Have you considered them?” Again, the judges looked through the book, and again they reduced the number of crates.
“And what about the problems with his family?” More crates disappeared.
“And his financial troubles?” By this time the scale was almost equal. But the sins still weighed heavy.
Asking for More Yissurim
The angel looked at the scale and asked the judge. “Are there more yissurim, perhaps, a bit more suffering?” The man watched in disbelief. He could no longer control himself. “More suffering!” the man screamed, “More suffering! Can’t I have just a little more suffering?”
And then he awoke. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t in the grave. He wasn’t facing the Heavenly Court. He was in the Beis Medrash of the Chidah, who was just finishing up his shiur.
The Chidah saw the stranger and courteously asked him what he could do to help him. The talmid chochom told him fervently, “I don’t need any help. I have everything I need – and I accept it all with love.” [This story was relayed by R’ Ovadiah Hadayah, a mekubal and Chief Rav of Pesach Tikva] (Stories of Spirit and Faith)
Reprinted from the Parshas Chaya Sarah 5784 email of The Weekly Vort.
