How to inspire a reluctant spouse toward establishing a Jewish home when direct influence creates a perceived attempt to assert power
By the Grace of G-d
28th of Tishrei, 5722
Brooklyn, N. Y.
Greeting and Blessing:
Your letter of September 7th reached me with some delay. In it you write about your attitude, as well as that of your wife’s towards the Jewish way of life.
Judging by your personal views, as expressed in your letter, I do not think I need elaborate on the fact that establishing a Jewish home in accordance with the Jewish way of life and religious observance in the daily life, is essential to true happiness and harmony, not only spiritually but also materially, since for the Jew, the material and spiritual must go hand in hand together.
Living as we do in a world troubled by uncertainty and confusion, how happy are we that G-d, in His infinite kindness, has shown us the true way of life, a life of harmony, peace and security.
As for the problem of establishing this in your home because of the present lack of cooperation on the part of your wife, the reason for your wife’s reluctance may be a natural reaction to a pressure exerted by the husband, which she may misinterpret as an effort to be boss, lord and master of the household. Therefore, if this same influence would come from friends, rather than from you, she may be more responsive. It would be especially well that she should come under the influence of young American-born women who have true Yiddish homes and follow the Jewish way of life. Fortunately, there are a number of such young housewives whose cooperation could be enlisted.
In the light of your description of your present environment, it would be a good idea to consider the possibility of moving to a community or a neighborhood which is orthodox. ...[where] your parents live, may offer a solution.
With prayerful wishes for the success of your efforts and determination to live up to the way of our Torah, which is called Toras Chaim, the Law of Life, and Mitzvoth whereby Jews live, and hoping to hear good news from you,
With blessing,
M. Schneerson
Needless to say, you may write to me again without hesitation.
