וירא יעקב את פני לבן, ואנה איננו עמו כתמול שלשום
The pasuk tells us that Yaakov saw the face of Lavan and noticed that Lavan’s general appearance differed from his usual appearance. In Growth through Torah, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin writes about the power of facial expressions. Lavan reveals his true emotions without mentioning a word, just by his looks, and this teaches us a powerful lesson. In fact, it is interesting to note that the word for face in Hebrew is panim, which means inward. The face is actually the only part of the body that is not covered. It should therefore be called chutzim, outward, rather than panim, inward. Perhaps the term panim is used since you can tell one’s inner feelings based on their outer facial expression (a smile or a frown). One’s facial expressions reveal their inner feelings.
This concept goes both ways. We have to pick up on other people’s feelings based on their facial expressions, and we also have to realize how our facial expressions can affect the people around us. As Rav Pam once said, a person’s face is a reshus harabim (public property), and you can’t be mazik (cause damage) in a reshus harabim. Just because we are having a bad day does not give us the right to adversely affect the mood of those around us.
The Mishnah in Avos states, והוי מקבל את כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות, “And receive every man with a pleasant temperament.” The word בסבר, “b’sever,” seems superfluous. It would have sufficed to simply state that one should receive others b’panim yafos. What does the word b’sever add? The Meiri has a beautiful interpretation. He says the word b’sever is derived from the word סברא (sevara), which is a thought. At least make the other person think you’re happy, even if it is not so.
The Gemara in Meseches Taanis 22 relates a relevant story. Rav Broka Chozaa was in the marketplace and asked Eliyahu Hanavi if there was anyone in the shuk who was worthy of Olam Haba. Rav Eliyahu pointed to two individuals who were dressed as clowns. These individuals spent their time bringing happiness to those who were sad. That itself is worth a ticket to Olam Haba. This is another instance that shows how important it is to do what we can to make others happy. At the very least, we need to take great care so as not to appear upset and to greet each individual with the proper respect and with a pleasant disposition, “besever panim yafos.”
We learn from the looks of Lavan what he felt, and we should take care in how we greet, treat, and address others. Just because we may be having a difficult day is no excuse to take it out on others. They are not to blame. They deserve a sincere smile and due respect, irrespective of our disposition.
