Part II. Life’s Desires
A Squirrel's Life
Now, when we talk about this subject of asking for life however, we must understand it in a much more profound way than what the outside world considers life—breathing, functioning, eating three meals a day. That’s important of course because without that there’s nothing to talk about; but if we’re going to be serious about our tefillos for another year of life we have to appreciate chaim as something that is a preface to a future life, to a great existence that is eternal.
After all, squirrels also want to live. But just to live like a squirrel, just to continue to exist, that's not called chaim. Because they don’t look forward to anything after death. They become acorns. They become oak trees. They go into the earth and help fertilize the soil so that more trees can grow in the places where the squirrels used to roam beforehand. That’s the end of a squirrel.
A Jew’s Life
But we, not. We live in this world, but that’s only the beginning. Because after 120 when the body is put into the earth, we continue to live. We discard the overcoat of the body and continue to live. And therefore when we say יםƒּיַחַה ר∆פ≈ס¿ּבּינו≈ב¿ ָּ̇כ it means both worlds; we want to be inscribed for a long life in this world in order to prepare for the Next World. We want to live just because of that. That’s what makes life worth living—otherwise, it’s the life of a squirrel. That’s not a life worth living.
That’s what it says י≈ּיַח לָּכƒמ ה∆ּזַה םָלֹעוָּב יםƒבֹטו יםƒׂ ֲ̆ﬠַמּו הָבּוׁ ̆¿ּ ̇ ל∆ׁ ̆ ַ̇חַ‡ הָﬠָׁ ̆ הָפָי‡ָּבַה םָלֹעוָה – that one minute of living properly and thinking correctly, doing right deeds in this world is better even than the Next World. Because that one minute is going to redound to your benefit forever and ever. That’s why a man who dies early chalilah and goes to Olam Haba, even though he's a tzaddik and he's being rewarded very greatly there, but he's going to regret the fact that he didn't have more chance in this world. He'll be sorry. He'll be very sorry he died early.
Never Enough
Even not early. You remember when Moshe Rabbeinu at the age of 120 was told by Hakadosh Baruch that he was going to die? Did Moshe say, “Well, I lived enough. One hundred and twenty years. What do you expect already?”
No, he didn't say that. Va’eschanan! He put up the biggest protest that anybody ever did against dying. The medrash says that Moshe Rabbeinu went around praying and crying and protesting; “Zachreini l’chaim! Kasveini b’sefer ha’chaim!” Again and again and again he prayed.
It’s strange—it sounds like he was being taken away in the prime of his life. Didn’t Moshe know about the greatness that was waiting for him in the Next World?
And the answer is Moshe Rabbeinu knew more about the World to Come than we do, and just because of that that’s why he wanted to continue to live more than we do.
That’s the truth—those who are more aware of Olam Haba, they appreciate this world more. Certainly, you want to live when you know you can accomplish things that will be forever. The longer you’re here, the more opportunity you have, to enter the Next World with a greater capital. And if you come with a bigger capital, then you’re going to have a much greater eternity of happiness.
Weeping Tzaddikim
I remember when Rav Aharon Kotler, zichrono livracha, was on his deathbed, he was weeping. He said, “Ribono Shel Olam, let me live! I can do so much in this world!” He wept.
The Vilna Gaon also wept. It was Chol Hamoed Sukkos and when they brought the esrog and the lulav to him for the last time on his death bed where he was lying sick, he was sobbing: “It’s the last time I’ll be able to bentch lulav and esrog.” He burst out weeping. That was the whole wealth of his life and now it was coming to an end!
And therefore to be a chofetz chaim means of course that you want to live regularly. You want to be healthy. You want to be able to function. But it's of the utmost necessity that your tefillos should be always be with this thought: רֹו„¿זֹרו¿פƒל ה∆מֹוּ„ ה∆ּזַה םָלֹעוָה – This world should be regarded only as a vestibule, ‡ָּבַה םָלֹעוָה י≈נ¿פƒל – that leads into the Next World.
And so, why do I want to be written in the book of life? רֹו„¿זֹרו¿ּפַבָך¿מ¿ˆַﬠ ן≈ ̃¿ ַ̇ה יןƒל¿ ַ̃ר¿ּטַל ס≈נָּיכƒל י≈„¿ּכ – So that I can have the opportunity to prepare myself in the vestibule in order to enter the palace.
The Value of Time
And so in order to qualify to be written down for life, you have to be a person who understands the value of life; you prize your hours and your minutes. I told you this story once. The Gra, zichrono livracha, had a son and on Yom Kippur he saw his father with a talis over his head and he was saying viduy. Now, when you say the al cheits, you don’t say only the things that are printed in the machzor. Every person has to add his own individual sins. Whatever you remember, you have to add between the lines. You were fresh to your mother when you were a boy. Put that in there. You were fresh to you rebbe. You did this or you did that. Put it in the al cheit, when you say vidui.
So the son wanted to hear, what sins did his father have? Now, our sons shouldn’t do that to us, but he thought it’s safe to listen to his father’s sins. So he stuck his head under the tallis. And he saw his father weeping bitterly; weeping bitterly that he once wasted five minutes. Now, I don’t know how he wasted five minutes—I can’t tell you—but he was crying; for wasting the gift of five minutes of life, he was weeping.
Love Your Days
And therefore יםƒּיַח ı≈פָח∆ה ׁ ̆יƒ‡ָה יƒמ –Who really wants life? יםƒמָי ב≈הֹו‡ – The one who loves the days. Every day is valuable. He counts every day. When he goes to bed at night he looks back and thinks, “What did I do today? What did I gain today?”
He gets up in the morning and thinks, “I’m not going to waste this day. I'm going to watch every minute of it. I’ll think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu. I’ll think in tefillah. I’ll smile at people. If I have a few minutes I'll open my Gemara.”
I want to explain something to you people; if you’re ambitious, I want to tell you something. If you utilize your spare moments, you can learn an entire Mesichta in these few minutes. Have a Gemara ready and whenever there’s a few minutes, learn that Gemara. If you understand it well, good. If not, make a mark on it in pencil along the side, so some other time, you come back and look it up and think more about it. You’ll be amazed how much you accomplish with the time that people waste otherwise.
Real Life
And you must! Otherwise, all of his tefillos—“Give me life! Give me life!”— are nothing but talk; it’s just the idle vaporing of an unthinking mind. Zachreinu la’chaim?! What kind of chaim are you thinking about? To sit on the couch and read the newspapers, frum newspapers?
Zachreinu l’chaim so that you should stand around in the back of the shul and talk devarim beteilim? So that Shabbos after davening you can run to this kiddush, that bar mitzvah, this bar mitzvah, that aufruf? Kasveinu b’sefer ha’chaim so that you can go and sit until 2 o'clock eating and stuffing yourself and wasting time? Or so that you can climb into your pajamas Shabbos afternoon after the seudah and climb out just for Mincha?
You’re committing suicide. That’s חַˆ¿רƒ ̇ ‡ֹל. You’re a murderer. You’re killing yourself for nothing. חַˆ¿רƒ ̇ ‡ֹל means you shouldn’t waste your life. And what is life? Life is an opportunity to accomplish for the Next World!
A Wasted Life
And so, if he drives around in his car on Sundays looking for fun, it means he doesn’t understand what chaim is. “This is what you were asking for when you begged Me for life?” Hashem says. “To sit behind the wheel of a car and to drive around just to make a trip someplace? For enjoyment, for pleasure? A trip for just to spend time?”
Here’s a man and his wife. They have time, a long motzei Shabbos, so they go visit somebody else. They sit down in the dining room, you and your wife and he and his wife and you talk and talk and talk. For what purpose? You’re going to waste part of your life on nothing? You know how much greatness, how much Torah, how much chessed, how much daas Hashem, can be accomplished on a motzei Shabbos? And instead he’s shooting the breeze with cousin Jake. That’s a rotzeiach, no question about it.
And so, when we say kasveinu, included in that is an understanding, a commitment. This year on motzei Shabbos I won’t run around visiting relatives. I won’t stay up till one in the morning munching on peanuts reading a newspaper. I won’t go to the aufruf of my second cousin. Forget about relatives. You have one relative you have to visit, that's yourself! It's not selfish because life is only for the purpose of making something out of yourself.
Writing for Eternity
That’s what it really means יםƒּיַחַה ר∆פ≈ס¿ּבּינו≈ב¿ ָּ̇כ. It’s a promise, a commitment: “You, Hashem, write me for life in Your book and I’ll write my own new book of achievement.” Like the Chovos Halevavos says, ֹ̇וּילƒ‚¿מ יםƒמָּיַה – the days are pages. Life is a megillah, a scroll, and every day is a new page in that scroll for you to write on. ם∆כָל ר≈כָּזƒּי∆ׁ ּ̆וˆ¿ּפ¿חַּ ̇∆ׁ ̆ הָמ ם∆הָּבּבו¿ ̇ƒּכ – Write in the megillah every day what you want to be remembered for you.
A new year of life means a new book; blank, clean, fresh. Ah, it's so inviting, so enticing. You remember when you were in school, in the beginning of the year, your mother bought you a new notebook. When you put it into
