There is no harder time than the one about which it says, “I will surely hide My face at that time” (Bamidbar Rabbah 42:3)
We read the curses written in Chumash Devarim before Rosh Hashanah, so the year and its curses will come to an end (Megilah 31b).
The parshiyos of Ki Savo and Nitzavim contain curses, and that is why they are read before Rosh Hashanah. But Vayelech is often read after Rosh Hashanah. Yet, it contains the harshest curse of all: “I will surely hide My face at that time.” Why don’t we read this, too, before Rosh Hashanah?
Immediately after this terrible verse it says, “And now you shall write for you this song and teach it to Bnei Yisrael and place it in their mouth.” This is the mitzvah to write a Sefer Torah.
Before Rosh Hashanah, everything goes according to laws and rules. In light of this, we have the curses written in Ki Savo and Nitzavim, regarding which it says, “You shall return to Hashem your G-d” (Devarim 30:2). There are aveiros, there is punishment, and there is teshuvah. We need to finish this business before Rosh Hashanah.
But Parshas Vayelech speaks of a different kind of teshuvah. This is the teshuvah to be done when there is hester panim, when Hashem hides His face. In such a situation, there is only one thing we can do: “And now you shall write for you this song and teach it to Bnei Yisrael.” This is learning Torah and toiling in Torah. Only this brings back to us the radiance of Hashem’s face.
Don’t be Synthetic
We have plenty of technological innovations in our times. Almost anything can be imitated. We have “wood” panels that are made of Formica, not real wood. We have “marble” pillars that are made of a cheap synthetic material that resembles marble.
Let’s say they would invent a synthetic apple. It looks like an apple and tastes like an apple but it didn’t grow on a tree. The brachah would be shehakol, not ha’eitz. A synthetic apple like this does not contain seeds from which apple trees can grow, and someone who eats it will not receive the vitamins and nutrition that apples provide. He will have the experience of eating an apple, but it will be an empty experience with no inner content.
There is also synthetic Judaism. A person can go through the motions of fulfilling mitzvos but there is no soul in them. They are lifeless acts without inner content. They are not an expression of avodas Hashem. The only thing that can breathe real life into mitzvah observance is Torah learning. As it says in Mesilas Yesharim (ch. 5), quoting Chazal, there is only one cure for the yetzer hara, and that is Torah learning.
A person might go through his whole life thinking he is a tzaddik who is doing mitzvos beautifully but if he doesn’t learn Torah he will never get out of this illusion. He will never even start serving Hashem. He is like someone who consumes synthetic food day after day and doesn’t even realize how malnourished he has become, because he has the experience of eating food.
The Torah has its external form, which is the mitzvos we perform, and it has its inner content: kedushah, relationship to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. This comes through Torah learning. Torah learning is life, it is connection to Hashem, and without it, a person is “synthetic.” He is like a robot performing actions.
Return to Hashem Means Torah Learning
This is what true teshuvah is all about. It’s not just to repent one’s bad deeds and avoid them from now on. This is surely a very important and basic thing, which we must work on, but true teshuvah is more than that. The word teshuvah means “returning.” We return to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There is no question that Hashem is happy when we stop speaking lashon hara, and say our brachos with more kavanah, and keep Shabbos and kashrus better. But He also wants us to do the main thing, as it says in the haftarah of Shabbos Shuvah: “If you do teshuvah, Yisrael... return to Me.” We need to get back to our relationship with Hashem and this is what teshuvah is all about.
This is what it says in Parshas Yayelech. A day will come when the Jewish people get into big trouble: “They will go astray after the foreign gods of the land.” They will see before their eyes a great and enticing world, which will cause the loss of their relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And Hashem will respond in kind: “And I will surely hide My face from them on that day.” In such a situation, what can be done? “And now you shall write for you this song and teach it to Bnei Yisrael and place it in their mouth.” Learning Torah is the only thing that will help.
We need to realize that there is only one cure for the yetzer hara, and that is Torah learning, as Chazal taught (Kiddushin 30b). Torah is the cure for the yetzer hara. The way to do teshuvah by learning Torah. Because without Torah, a person can live his whole life thinking he is a good Jew and find out the truth only when it’s all over, as the Mesilas Yesharim says. If a person keeps the mitzvos without proper Torah learning, he will find out that his Judaism is “synthetic” and lacking in true inner content.
Real teshuvah is returning to a relationship with Hashem, as facilitated by Torah learning. For this reason, in the Shemoneh Esreh blessing about teshuvah we say, “Hashiveinu Avinu l’Torasecha.” We ask for Torah. Ostensibly, our request for Torah should have been in the previous blessing, where we asked for knowledge and understanding. But Chazal didn’t put the request for Torah there, because Torah is essential to teshuvah. If you want to return to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, if you want to get back to your living relationship with Hashem, there is only one way that leads there. “Hashiveinu Avinu l’Torasecha.” Torah learning facilitates true teshuvah because only a Jew who learns Torah has a real, live relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
