Pharoah instructed Yosef to bring his father and family down to Egypt. “Do this: Take for yourselves from the land of Egypt, wagons for your small children and for your wives; transport your father (u’nesasem es avichem) and come.” [45:19]. The Daas Zekeinim m’Baale HaTosfos infers that the wagons were only provided for the purpose of transporting the women and children. However, the brothers were supposed to carry their father on their shoulders. Why? This is part of honoring one’s father (Kibud Av). But who was talking here, and who was showing concern for the laws of Kibud Av? It is Pharoah. Pharoah was instructing Yosef in proper manners (derech eretz) towards one’s father!
Rav Gifter comments “how far have we gone from that which seemed obvious?”. In those days, it was even self-evident to Pharoah that this is how one should treat a father. To us, this is not merely a novelty — it is something that we would not even dream of doing! And yet, Pharoah held it to be self-evident that one treats his father with far greater reverence than one gives to one’s wife and children. Pharoah did not consider it proper for Yosef’s brothers to merely provide a wagon ride for their father.
Our values and way of living have drifted so far from the self-evident truths of Biblical times that this seems foreign to us. Rabbi Wein points out that the Public School in Chicago (built circa 1920) where he was a student, had two entrances — one for boys and one for girls. The purpose of each entrance was engraved in stone over the doorways. The need for separate entrances was obvious back then. Even though it was a co-educational institution, everybody knew that there had to be a separation of the sexes. Sixty, seventy, and eighty years ago, it was even understood in a public school that there needed to be certain guidelines of propriety and of tznius [modesty/privacy]. Today, you might find separate entrances for the men and women in some religious congregations. Anywhere else, the concept is totally foreign.
How far have we drifted from the ideas of truth! Concepts that were self-evident in previous generations are novel ideas today. We must learn from a Pharoah the proper way to treat a father. Today, it is something that we barely aspire to fulfill. But that nevertheless, is the way of truth.
