Different Minhagim
As with many things in Yiddishkeit, there are various minhagim how to hold the kos. Although people sometimes do not pay attention and hold the kos in whatever way feels comfortable, it is important to know that even with a matter as simple as holding the kos—which seems like a trivial matter—there is tremendous significance. Thus, we will go through some minhagim.
Five Fingers
The Zohar says the kos shel bracha should be on five fingers and no more [i.e., one should not also use his left hand to support it], like the rose, which sits above five firm leaves, representing five fingers. The rose is a kos shel bracha (הקדמה א'). There are multiple opinions given explaining the intent of this Zohar [credit for the illustrations goes to our friend, Rav Dovid Halevi Hirsch, author of פאר הלכה on Mishna Berura].
On the palm. Some explain that the Zohar is saying to place the kos on the right palm with the fingers upright around the kos [a hint to this is the posuk “ואתן את הכוס על כף פרעה” (פ' וישב מ, י''א )], unlike the minhag of some people to hold the kos in the right hand with the fingers encircling the kos (של''ה שער האותיות קדושת האכילה אות קפ''ד, והובא במ''ב סי' קפ''ג סקט''ו ). Many people follow this minhag.
Fingers encircling. Some suggest the Zohar means one should hold the kos with his fingers encircling the kos in a grasp, not with upright fingers (מג''א שם סק''ו, א''ר סק''ז , וכך נהגו הרבה, הגר''ח הלוי הגש''פ מבית לוי ח''ב עמ' ס''ז, החזו''א, הסטייפלער, הגרי''ז הלוי ).
On the fingers. Another way is given by the Arizal: the kos should be directly on top of the fingers (שער המצוות פ' עקב ). Here too, there is a machlokes haposkim regarding his intention, as will be explained.
On top of upright fingers. Some explain the Arizal’s intent, based on their version of the Kisvei Arizal, that one should take the kos on his upright fingers on top, i.e., the kos should rest on top of the fingers, which are extended upward (שמן ששון על שער המצוות אות קי''ט ). This is the minhag of many rabbanim of Eidot Mizrach.
Fingers straight out. Some explain the Arizal’s opinion is that the palm and fingers are extended straight out and the kos stands on the fingers, not the palm (מהר''י צמח לחם מן השמים דף כ', כך נהג הבית הלוי הגש''פ מבית לוי שם, מנהג אדמו''ר מאמשינוב ועוד ).
Ruzhin kos. Those who use the shape of the kos attributed to the Rebbes of Ruzhin usually place the base of the kos on four fingers extended straight out with the thumb on a leaf protruding from the kos’s stem.
Kos with a Foot
When using a kos with a foot, to fulfill the minhag to place the kos on the palm, one should place the foot of the cup on his palm with the fingers around the foot. The bowl of the kos should not be held in the palm with the stem and foot coming out between the fingers. As far as lifting the kos a tefach (Issue 368, par. 43), the tefach is measured from the bottom of the foot, not from the bottom of the kos’s bowl (הגר''ח קנייבסקי, אריה שאג סי' רע''ב, אשרי האיש קידוש אות ו', הגריש''א, דרור יקרא עמ' שנ''ד ).
Some say there is an advantage in using a kos with a foot, as one can fulfill two minhagim as to how to hold the kos: the base of the foot should be placed on the palm (above, 9), and the fingers should be extended upward to touch the bottom of the kos’s bowl (6) (ס' צבי לצדיק זידיטשוב דף כ''ו ). However, we have not seen anyone who does this.
Holding a Plate Under the Kos
Instead of holding the kos itself, some people hold a plate under the kos when they make the bracha with the kos. Although there might be potential concerns of chatzitza (ע''פ הבית יעקב סי' קע''ד ), we can apply the concept that anything for beauty is not a chatzitza. Similarly, it is a manner of avoda in the Beis HaMikdash (חשוקי חמד יומא דף נ''ח ע''א ); it is also considered doing the mitzva properly (שערים המצוינים בהלכה, וכך ראיתי הגריש''א מברך על כוס בברית מילה ).
However, those who are careful to fulfill the Arizal’s opinion that the kos should be surrounded by the five fingers [each according to his version] should not hold the plate with the kos – they should hold the kos itself.
