Jokes

Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author Laughter is the Best Medicine: Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole family, 1 & 2, and Jewish joke book for kids available on Amazon.

JOKESJOKES

• A crossing guard
• The letter H
• When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, "Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
• The diner was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter," he barked, "didn't you hear me say 'well done'?" "I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get a compliment."
• I went to the restaurant, and the waiter came over and greeted me with a smile. "Good evening, sir, may I take your order?” the waiter asked. “Yes,” I replied. “I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked that it's runny, and the other so overcooked that it's tough and hard to eat. Also, a steak that has been left out, so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; margarine straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm." "That's a complicated order, sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult." I replied, "Oh? Well, you managed quite well last time I came!"