Question
Since it’s a father’s job to discipline his son, how can he discipline him and also give encouragement at the same time?
Answer
Now, this was mentioned here before briefly. Rather than continually knock the son and say, ”You're no good,” “You're rotten,” “You good for nothing,” it's better if you give him one smack if you see he's not doing his homework or he doesn't go to the yeshivah or if he was lazy to do his duty. Whatever it is, but not to call him names. Leave that out! You can force him to do what he has to do. Forcing is not bad, but to give him names, to convince him that he is a failure, to convince him that he's a low character, that’s one of the worst things you could do.
And when he does a little bit, make it better than it is; let him feel that there's an incentive to do good. He'll know that there's kavod. Sometimes it's worth giving little prizes. Sometimes by little prizes you can give great encouragement.
January 1977
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