Yehuda is full of Hachna’a to the extreme. He praises Yosef: הֹעְרַפְכּ ˃וֹמָכ יִכּ מד יח you are like Paroh, meaning: in my eyes, you are a real king. He calls himself: ˃ְדְּבַע your servant seven times, and he calls Yosef: יִנֹדֲא “my master” seven times. His words of full of Eidelkeit, Hachna’a and warmth.
It is known that people who can be Mach’nia themselves end up winning, just like Yaakov “melted” Eisav by being Mach’nia to him with all his gifts etc. Right after Yehuda’s speech [which showed his Hachna’a] Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, and the torture the brothers were going through, was over.
I heard in the name of R’ Gershon Liebman, that when two people are having a tug-of-war, when one person lets go and stops fighting, he wins! Hachna’a and Bitachon are closely related, and they complement each other. Many times, people have had phenomenal Yeshuos when they exercised Hachna’a.
When you learn Rashi on these Pesukim, you see a totally different Yehuda. He was tough like a lion, and he was ready to destroy the whole Mitzrayim if need be. The true Anav is loaded with self-esteem [as it says in Chovos Halvavos].
Standing firm and fighting with people who are causing you problems is self-defeating, and will predispose you to lose. When you are soft, gentle, and Mach’nia yourself, you are likely to win. This is why Yehuda is the Melech. The name “Yehuda” means to be: הֶדוֹמ admit. A true Melech is a secure and confident person, who doesn’t mind “admitting” and saying he’s wrong. Dovid HaMelech was not only: תֶמֶאָה לַע הֶדוֹמ admit the truth, he was even: רֶקֶשַׁה לַע הֶדוֹמ admitted to what he “didn’t” do by admitting to the sin of Bas-Sheva, about which Chazal say he did no sin whatsoever. The Rambam says that a Melech must have excessive Anava and speak with softness.
Smart people don’t need to be right by every encounter. They understand that the finale is of utmost importance, and they are Mach’nia themselves in order to come out ahead in the end.
A True Melech Is Close to Hashem and Constantly Praising and Singing to Him, Instead of Being Involved in His Pecklach and Worries
What made Yehuda so special that he became the Melech of the holy Shevotim? When Reuven, Shimon, and Levi were born, Leah was involved in her Shalom Bayis with Yaakov, and each child’s name was a relief from her issues. Each one’s name had a Ma’ala, while “Yehuda” means simply: “Thank you, Hashem!”. His name is less complicated, symbolizing total satisfaction and Simcha. Leah stopped having children after him, since at that point she was totally content. Yehuda is the symbol of Yaakov Avinu’s statement: לֹכ יִל שֶׁי וישלח לג יא I have everything! Because: ויָאֵריִל רוֹסְחַמ ןיֵא יִכּ תהלים לד י A Baal Bitachon is never lacking.
A true Baal Bitachon is totally Sameach B’chelko without any complaints at all, He is “above” everyone and everything. He is not into kvetching and worrying, so he comes out ahead of everyone and deserves to be Melech. Indeed, Dovid was: לֵאָרְשִׂי תוֹרִמְז םיִעְנ שמואל ב, כג א the sweet singer of Israel, and his Tehilim is loaded with: Simcha, Simcha, and more Simcha. A true Melech is constantly singing and praising Hashem. Songs have a way of lifting people out of their pecklach and worries, and bringing a person closer to Hashem. The more you learn Shaar HaBitachon, the more Simcha you have. If you learn Shaar HaBechina and Shaar Avodas Elokim, then you feel like thanking Hashem all the time.
[loose the battle; win the war]. Immature people don’t have enough Sechel for this simple truth of being Mach’nia themselves. They need to be right in every encounter, so they keep on fighting throughout their lives; wasting their time, and souring their lives with aggravation which isn’t healthy for a person’s physical or spiritual health. This comes from not realizing that the other person is just a test from Hashem, to see if you will grow in Emuna and Middos Tovos. Indeed, לֹקַּה קוֹל בֹקֲעַי תולדות כז כב The voice is the voice of Yaakov. Yaakov speaks with Eidelkeit, and not like the “tough guy” Eisav. Learning Chovos Halvavos Shaar HaBitachon and Shaar HaK’niya are helpful for this.
We see the unbelievable Eidelkeit of Yehuda. We see his warmth and his caring for his father [when he pleaded for Binyamin, saying: וֹשְׁפַנְבּ הָרוּשְׁק וֹשְׁפַנְו ל דמ his father’s soul is bound with his]. He speaks with loads of love, and indeed, the Melech is the: םָעָה בֵל heart of the nation. Yehuda concludes his plea to Yosef by saying: How can I bear the suffering of my father losing his beloved son, Binyamin?
The Chovos Halvavos says that an Anav doesn’t take revenge, even if he is able to. A true Anav is not afraid of people. He may be soft, but he is not afraid!
