Teshuvah and Improvement
It states (Mishlei 26:14) ַלע ֵלָצוְע ָּהצִיר ַלע ּוֹבִּסת ֶתַדֶּלהָּתוִֹטמ. "The door turns on its hinges, and a lazy person on his bed." Reb Shimshon Pinkus zt'l asks about the connection between the hinges and a lazy person.
Let's say there's a yeshiva where one thousand bachurim study. The door of the beis medresh opens more than ten thousand times each day. (There are three sedarim daily, three tefillos, and one has to wash his hands before the tefillah. And sometimes one has to go outside for some other reason, so it can easily reach 10,000 times a day, and probably more than that.) But how far do the doors get after opening and closing so many times? How many miles do they travel? Not far at all, the doors remain in their original place. This is because they are connected with hinges and don’t detach from them, so they stay where the hinges are. The same is true for a lazy person. He is attached to the bed, from all sides, top and bottom, and he can't get out of the bed. The same applies to all matters that a person is attached to, such as bad habits or the foolish pursuits of this world. He is connected to something and remains in the same place. One must remove the hinges and allow himself to change and improve his ways.
There once was a person who lived in Berdichev and was on a very low level in ruchniyus, making bad choices in life. The Berdichever Rav zt'l would go to him and urge him to do teshuvah. The man would reply, "Rebbe, I will do teshuvah later. Now I don't have time for that." Eventually, this man became very ill, and the Berdichever Rav visited him and said, "Now is your last chance. Do teshuvah." The man replied, "Oy, Rebbe! The Rebbe sees that I don't have the strength to do teshuvah now."
The Berdichever Rav told him a story: There was a poritz who had many animals on his estate. He asked one of his workers to construct a barn for the animals so they wouldn't be harmed by the rain, snow, and cold when the winter came. The worker said, "It is still summertime. When winter arrives, I will build a shelter for the animals." Winter came; there was rain, snow, and cold. He told his worker, "Just look at how much damage you caused me because you didn't build a shelter for the animals!" He replied, "It is winter now. What does the Poritz want from me? How can I build a barn in the winter?"
The ill person understood the message that the Berdichever Rav was telling him. He cried, and he died amidst his crying. The Rav said that he died while doing teshuvah.
Hashem asks a person to do teshuvah, and the person replies, "I will do teshuvah later. Elul is coming. I will do teshuvah when it is Elul..." After Elul, he says, "I will do teshuvah on Yom Kippur." And when these dates arrive, he says he doesn't have the strength to do teshuvah. But a person should know that every day is a good time to do teshuvah. When he is inspired to do teshuvah, that is the best time for teshuvah. He should break away from the hinges holding him back and improve his ways.
A bachur in his thirties was 97% blind, r'l, due to an illness. He underwent two operations on his eyes, and he traveled with his parents to America for the third operation, which was a few months ago. On the day of the operation, his father woke up his son and told him that they must rush to the hospital so they wouldn't be late. The son said that he wanted to daven first. The father said that there wasn't time for that. If he wants, he can daven in the taxi, on the way to the hospital.
The family belongs to the Stoliner chassidus, and the custom in Stolin is to daven loudly because it helps to have kavanah. The bachur wanted to daven according to their tradition so he could daven with kavanah. The father told him that if he davens loudly in the taxi, the taxi driver will likely drop them off in the middle of the way.
The taxi driver who arrived to pick them up was deaf! He communicated with people in writing. It is rare to find such a driver, especially a taxi driver who is deaf. But Hashem arranged it so this bachur could daven with kavanah, loudly, as usual, in the taxi as they drove to the hospital for his operation.
