The passuk (45:3) says, ולא חי אבי העוד יוסף אני מפניו נבהלו כי אתו לענות אחיו יכלו , "'I am Yosef, is my father still alive?' The brothers couldn’t answer because they were frightened before him."
The Gemara (Chagigah 4) teaches, "Reb Elazar would cry when he came to this pasuk .... Reb Elazar said, 'If the rebuke of a human being causes so much shame, how frightening will it be when Hakadosh Baruch Hu's rebukes us...!'"
The commentaries ask: What was Yosef's rebuke? The Torah doesn’t say that Yosef rebuked them. It only states that he told them that he was Yosef.
The Ksav Sofer, the Sfas Emes, and several other meforshim give the same answer. They explain that Yosef's rebuke was העוד יוסף אני חי אבי . We will explain:
Yosef said he wanted to arrest Binyamin because the golden goblet was found in his bag. Yehudah pleaded with Yosef to spare Binyamin. His point was, "Even if Binyamin is guilty, why should our father suffer? Why is he guilty? He will die from grief. Spare Binyamin for our father's sake."
Yosef replied, חי אבי העוד יוסף אני, "I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?" He was saying, "You're telling me to be compassionate for our father's sake, but did you consider our father's distress when you sold me to Mitzrayim? Why do you only think about your father now? Why didn’t you care about your father then?"
This tochachah is very powerful because it shows the discrepancy of one’s own actions. There is nothing one can answer to pardon himself after being shown that his deeds contradict his own words and outlook.
The Gemara says that this form of rebuke will also take place in the future, and how devastating and frightening it will be!
We will give some examples: After one's demise, when heaven asks a person why he didn’t give tzedakah, he might reply, "I couldn’t. I needed the money for my own family." Heaven will reply, "But we saw that you had enough money to go on vacation to a distant country every year. You paid for the airfare, the five-star hotels, and the attractions. You didn’t think about not having enough money then. Why do you only consider your tight budget when a poor person comes to you?"
Similarly, the heavenly court will ask, "There were people who wanted to speak to you; they needed your advice and your attention, but you never had time for them." He will answer, "I was so busy. I had to get to work on time, go to a shiur, spend some time with the family, catch a minyan, etc. I simply didn’t find time to speak with the lonely people who sought my attention." But then heaven will show him that he had plenty of time to read the newspaper, converse with friends, and be involved in unimportant endeavors.
This tochachah leaves a person speechless because it proves he didn’t care enough. Yosef said to his brothers, "I am Yosef, is our father still alive?" The brothers weren't able to answer him, מפניו נבהלו כי, because they were frightened before him."
