In this week’s parshah, Yosef reveals his identity to his brothers, immediately adding that they should take care “not to be depressed or troubled” about their previous deeds that brought them to this situation.
Commenting on depression, R’ Shlomo Karliner ztz”l would say that while he can tolerate a person who is immersed in physical pleasures as long as he’s happy, it’s very hard to be around a person who is sunk in depression.
Along the same lines, the Divrei Emes ztz”l quotes the Ari Hakadosh zy”a as saying that being depressed actually impedes a person’s ability to make spiritual achievements and comprehend Hashem’s wisdom. Fundamentally, a person who allows himself to sink into depression can only do so by ignoring or dismissing all the blessings Hashem has bestowed upon him, and this is certainly an obstacle to seeing the world clearly.
It is also an obstacle to succeeding in one’s relationships with other people. When a husband or wife despairs of their shalom bayis, they stop investing in anything that could improve things. Furthermore, they will likely end up tolerating behaviors in their spouse that should not be ignored, enabling the other person to continue acting in a way that harms both of them and their underlying relationship.
In general, being around a person who is chronically pessimistic is emotionally exhausting and anyone who is able to will stay away. When a parent is depressed, children may decide, whether consciously or not, that there is little point in adopting the parent’s views and lifestyle if all it leads to is misery. As the Belzer Rav zy”a would say, if you want people to emulate your good behavior, it’s crucial to be happy!
