This week's parsha tells of the climax of the long and complicated saga of Ya’akov, Yosef, Binyamin, and the brothers. Yosef finally utters the emotive words, “Ani Yosef”, asks after his father, reassures his brothers, and then, after twenty-two long years, kisses them.
Crying over what?
When Yosef embraces his beloved brother Binyamin, they both cry. One would have assumed that this would be a cry of reunion, a cry of happiness and excitement, but this was not the case. Rashi explains that they were crying over the destruction of the two Batey Hamikdash and the Mishkan Shilo.
Why were they crying over the destruction of the Batei Mikdash that had not yet even been built? Further, why did they not wait until the end of the reunion before crying together about these tragedies?
The Son of Pain!
Rachel called her eldest son Yosef as a tefila, “Yosif li Hashem ben acher - Hashem should grant me another child”. When her second son was born, Rachel named him Ben Oni - the son of my pain, because it had been a traumatic and life-threatening birth.
The names we give our children have tremendous significance - they have great bearing on their nature, midos, and future. Rochel Immenu, even on her deathbed, certainly wanted her Binyamin, one of the shivtey Kah, to have the best life and potential. What then was the meaning and significance of calling him Ben Oni?
Pregnancy
To understand this let us examine the significance of pain in general and the role it plays in birth and pregnancy. Pregnancy is a difficult time for women; various aches, pains, and discomforts are par for the course. As the birth approaches the pain increases. The birth itself is exceptionally painful and at times, even dangerous. In many cases women are convinced that they will never go through the process again. Why did Hashem made childbirth so difficult and painful?
The Next Chafetz Chaim!
R’ Shimshon Pinkus gave the following explanation. When a child is born, its parents would love to see him grow up to be a tzaddik, talmid chacham, true oved Hashem and ba’al Middos - the next Chafetz Chaim. How do they go about realizing that aspiration?
This is why Hashem made pregnancy and childbirth so painful. As a woman sits on the birthing stool screaming in pain, rather than simply crying, she can channel those deep, painful cries of desperation towards Hashem as a tefila that her child grow up to serve Hashem, become a tzaddik, a tzadekes, etc.
Channelling the Cry
Tefila out of pain or distress has far greater power than tefila during calm and tranquil times. This was the case with Klal Yisrael in Mitzrayim; their redemption was brought about by dint of “vaNitzak el Hashem” - their cries of pain. When a child is born and there is pain, and that pain is channelled correctly, it will grow up with the backing and power of tremendous tefilos.
This is why Rachel called her child, Ben Oni. At the moments of birth, she knew that she was leaving behind a child that she would not merit to raise. Who would look after him? Who would make sure he grew up to be the great Binyamin of the shivtey Kah? She therefore took the terrible pain she experienced at birth (and which cost her her life) and davened to Hashem from the depths of her heart that he would grow up in the way she so wanted. This was of enormous importance - it was the key to bringing him to tzidkus! This is why she named him Ben Oni.
The Next Generation
Rachel passed this midah on to her children. When Yosef was no longer able to control himself and exclaimed “ani Yosef”, he exchanged a few words with his brothers and was about to kiss them. That would, to some extent, put an end to the terrible pain of the last twenty-two years. Yosef and Binyamin were both aware that at a later date the Batei Hamikdash and Mishkan Shilo (which would be built in their respective portions in Eretz Yisrael) would be destroyed and Klal Yisael would be thrown into bitter exile. What would save them? What would help them through dark and bitter times? What would enable them to climb out and cause the third Beis Hamikdash to be built? Yosef knew that regular tefila would not suffice - it needed to be a tefila emanating from pain. Therefore, before ending the saga with his brothers, before even kissing his lost brother of twenty-two years, while the pain was still raw he embraced Binyamin and cried with him over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash and the galus that would follow.
Current Times
We live in difficult, unprecedented times. During the past few years alone, the COVID-19 crisis was swiftly followed by the tragedy in Meron, then the Russia-Ukraine war, then painful economic stagnation, and finally, the heinous attack in the south of Eretz Yisrael and the anti-semitism it has brought in its wake. It is clear that these are the times referred to by Chazal as chevley mashiach - the birth pangs of Mashiach.
This is also evident from a ruchniyus perspective. The nisyonos we face today on a daily basis were not encountered by Yidden of the past in their entire lifetimes.
There is also a grave problem in chinuch - many are failing to find meaning in yiddishkeit, or finding it very difficult. The results of this are tragic. And the phenomenon is increasing. Wherever you look there are people falling by the wayside. Why is this occurring at this point in history?
Chevley Mashiach
The answer lies in the name of these painful times - chevley Mashiach - the birth-pangs of mashiach. How is the period related to birth-pangs? The answer is as above - Hashem sends pain and difficulties so that people may direct their tears into heartfelt tefilos.
To bring the geulah, to bring mashiach, regular tefilos will not suffice - we need tefilos from the depths of the heart.
If we emulate Rachel, Yosef and Binyamin, and channel our cries towards Hashem as a tefila to end this bitter galus, we will surely merit the long-awaited Beis Hamikdash - Amen ken yehi ratzon.
