One of the great rabbanim of the past was known for a specific practice in his home. On Shabbos afternoons, while his young children played energetically and enthusiastically throughout the house, the rav would sit down immediately after the Shabbos morning seudah and study with his regular chavrusos until the time for the Minchah prayer.
On one occasion, he explained his reasoning for this custom, which stemmed from his deep commitment to educating his children, as the pasuk says: ...because he will command his children and his household after him. He said, "If I were to follow the common custom of the world—resting for long periods in bed after eating the Shabbos cholent—the children would naturally continue playing as they please, without supervision. They might even disturb my rest. In that case, I would lose out on both counts: I wouldn’t have proper rest, and my children’s behavior would lack guidance."
"Rather," he continued, "when my children see me sitting and learning Torah with joy and serenity, they are more likely to act respectfully and pursue the path of Torah, observing proper manners and derech eretz toward their father’s sacred Torah study. Additionally, these hours are an ideal opportunity to learn pleasantly with each child individually, reviewing and reinforcing their studies." (Nowadays, baruch Hashem, there is even the widespread custom of Avos Ubanim programs, where fathers and sons learn together in every community.)
The rav had no need to say a word of instruction or rebuke to his children. By doing what he had to do in his relationship with Hashem, the children observed and learned automatically. This was the essence of "He would say..." What he taught through action outperformed anything he could have said.
Over the years, he merited tremendous siyatta di’Shmaya in educating his sons and daughters. They grew and thrived, becoming rabbanim and talmidei chachamim, a source of pride and glory to Beis Yisrael!
