With I married, I joined a very special family. My in-laws truly live the words of Pirkei Avos, “And poor people shall be members of your household.” When I was first married there were several such bnei bayis there, and they felt so comfortable that they literally “accepted me into the family” and advised me to “feel at home.”
I quickly learned that “feeling at home” in my father-in-law’s family was a very easy task. The warmth and the constant heartfelt acts of giving have powerful effects. Yidden from all over the area come and find a listening ear, help, and a good word. I met all sorts of people there: those who asked for help for lack of choice and apologized for the fact that they asked; those who understood the situation and accepted what was given to them with appreciation and blessings; and those who seemed to assume that everything was coming to them. They went in and out of the house as though it was their own home, not asking for a meal but rather demanding it, and there were those who always had complaints.
Like Zerach. He was a bachur with a difficult background, who found in my in-law’s home a corner to rest from the storms of the world. He would show up at odd times and situations, morning, afternoon, and evening, and make requests and demands. He was literally like a reincarnation of that nuisance who tested Hillel Hazakein’s patience at inappropriate times with senseless questions.
My father-in-law girded himself with all the patience in the world in order to relate kindly to Zerach. He saw the neshamah within him, the indisputable fact that he was a son of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and for a long while, he hosted him and bestowed much good upon him despite the great difficulty it involved.
At a certain point, Zerach got caught up in difficult money matters and escaped abroad. That was the end of chapter one.
At the beginning of chapter two, I’ll tell you that my father-in-law’s home is based not only on the pillar of chessed; they also invest much in the pillar of Torah. My father-in-law is a rosh kollel, and he needs to collect two million shekels each year. To this end, from time to time he travels abroad to fundraise for the kollel. If in the early years each trip was an exhausting hardship involving trial and error, over the past eighteen years these journeys have become focused and productive. My father-in-law knows exactly where to go, and b’chasdei Hashem, his trips always yield respectable sums of money.
How did the change occur? Nineteen years ago, after Zerach fled the country in a rush, he left behind a Yid who cared about him very much. My shver did not forget him, and at the first opportunity when he traveled abroad, he decided to visit Zerach. He found out where he was staying and arrived at the home of Reb Yehuda, a warm, hospitable Yid who provided Zerach with a home.
Zerach was very excited to meet my father-in-law. He introduced him to Reb Yehuda, and all the good words that my father-in-law should have received in his own home, he received in third person in front of Reb Yehuda. “Do you know who this person is?!” Zerach began, and it seemed he did not want to end. “He saved my life! He was the only person who noticed me. He brought me into his home and allowed me to eat there and sleep there, even when it was very difficult. They never chased me away.” He continued his recitation of “the whole Hallel” for my father-in-law, and then he did even more when he added, “Reb Yehuda, you have to help him. He has a large kollel.”
The more Reb Yehuda, a precious Yid who loves Torah, got to know my father-in-law, the more impressed he was with him. He decided to support his kollel on a steady basis. The largest sums that come in are always through him. Aside from his own generous donation, he asks his customers in the clothing store he owns to make a donation to the kupah of the kollel. Once a year he makes a large dinner to which he invites my shver, and together they raise the necessary funds.
When my father-in-law brought Zerach into his home, he didn’t dream of how much good would come of it. He didn’t know that along with the help he was giving without any hope of reward in this world, he was acquiring a highly successful P.R. person for his kollel!
