BY RABBI SHMUEL GOLDSTEIN
All the preparations for the Seder, including setting the table, should be completed well before the night [unless the day before Pesach is Shabbos]. This will enable the children (as well as others) to stay awake and participate in the Seder. One should also set the table in an extra fancy manner.
KADESH - One should make Kiddush as early as possible. However, unlike קדוש of Shabbos and Yom Tov this קדוש must be recited after צאת הכוכבים. The cup must be able to hold at least a רביעית. A רביעית is 4.42 fluid ounces for a מצוה דאורייתא (i.e. קדוש on Friday night), and 3 ounces for a דרבנן. Some hold that one should drink the entire cup or if it is difficult most of the cup. Others hold that one need only drink a רביעית or if it is difficult most of a רביעית. Even though we hold like this opinion; if possible, one should get a cup that does not hold much more than a רביעית so that he can just as easily fulfill both opinions. A boy under 13 and a girl under 12 should drink the amount of their cheekful. Some hold that they only need to take a small sip.
It is preferable to drink the required amount in one gulp. One may drink part of the required amount in one gulp and the rest in a second gulp within כדי שתיית רביעית (the amount of time to put the cup to one’s mouth, drink one and a half ounces, take the cup away from one’s mouth, and then drink another one and a half ounces). If one took longer than כדי שתיית רביעית to drink the first or second cup it should be drunk again.
By the third and fourth cups however, as long as they were drunk within כדי אכילת פרס (see footnote 47) one should not drink them again, since some hold that one has fulfilled his obligation by drinking it within this time span. If one physically cannot drink the cups quickly enough, then one should use this time span. Red wine is preferred unless white wine is better. If one uses grape juice many hold that he does not fulfill the part of the mitzvah called חירות (showing freedom), but he has fulfilled the mitzvah of drinking the four cups. To fulfill the mitzvah of חירות, one should add enough wine to the grape juice so that one can taste the wine. If using any wine will get one very sick or it will prevent the proper performance of other mitzvahs, then grape juice should be used. [If one cannot get wine, one can fulfill his obligation with חמר מדינה.]
At different times during the Seder one should recline including while drinking the four cups. The reclining must be done on to something, preferably on a pillow or something very comfortable. The reclining must be done on one’s left side. If one reclined forward backwards or to the right it is as if he has not reclined.
[If a left-handed person leaned on their right side either for both of the first two cups or for both of the last two cups, he does not drink them again.] Most women follow the opinion of the ראבי"ה that one does not have to recline in our days because our royalty does not recline while eating. To avoid complicated halachic situations, one should have in mind that the beracha of בורא פרי הגפן said on each cup, will cover everything he drinks until but not including the next cup. [This way if one would have to drink that cup again, no new beracha would be said and it will not appear as one is adding to the number of cups.] If one had this in mind and then drank either of the first two cups without reclining, one should drink the cup again without a new beracha. Regarding the third and fourth cups, they should not be drunk again if one did not lean. [Since one may not drink after the third cup, we rely on the opinions that reclining is not required in our days.]
The cup has all the rules of כוס של ברכה including washing both the inside and the outside, etc. If one person is making קדוש for everyone, only he needs to wash his cup. The Rema writes that the head of the household should have his cup filled by someone else; many have added the custom that everyone has someone else fill up their cup. At the שהחיינו, it is good to have in mind all the Mitzvos of the night.
