When my father and teacher, the righteous Rav Levi HaKohen zt”l, author of Ma’adanei HaShulchan, was teaching the children of Klal Yisrael as rosh mesivta at the Torah VeYirah Yeshivah in Yerushalayim, a difficulty issue arose with one of the children. This child struggled with class participation and his overall behavior was appalling. His teacher could not find a solution for managing this troubled student.
The main challenge for the teacher was his inability to uncover the root cause of the child’s instability. The boy appeared confused, wandering as though in a daze, and it was evident that he was distressed. The teacher was unsuccessful despite repeated attempts to understand the source of the child’s inner turmoil.
During a break, while the teacher was sitting in the teachers' room with my father, he discussed the boy’s situation, as teachers often do when seeking advice on challenging cases.
Upon hearing the details, my father’s heart filled with sorrow and compassion for the young boy—bright, talented, and full of potential for greatness—yet seemingly entangled in deep inner confusion.
One day, during recess, while the boy was playing happily in the schoolyard, my father approached him with extraordinary warmth. He befriended the child and began speaking with him lovingly and in a friendly manner on various topics. The boy enjoyed the interaction immensely, sensing my father’s genuine affection. As they talked, my father gently patted him several times, expressing pure, heartfelt love for this holy and pure child, one of the young lambs upon whom the world stands.
The boy’s heart opened to this kindness and closeness. With great wisdom, my father steered the conversation toward the subject of children who sometimes feel confused and troubled, lamenting how unfortunate it is for them to suffer unnecessarily when solutions to their problems are often easily found.
Feeling safe and comfortable in the conversation, the boy began to share his thoughts: "I often feel confused and troubled too," the boy admitted innocently.
"Why is that?" my father asked with concern. "What’s bothering you?" With a slight smile on his holy lips, my father added: "You’re so bright and intelligent! Surely, with Hashem’s help, we can figure out a solution to your confusion!"
Encouraged by the thoughtful suggestion, the boy began to talk about himself and his home. Among other things, he revealed that his father often pressured him to excel in Torah study. His father would frequently urge him, saying that with his strong talents and abilities, he could easily become the top student in his class and grow into a great talmid chacham.
To that end, the father regularly rebuked him for every small mistake or mischievous act, reprimanding him severely each time.
"And what is the source of your confusion?" my father gently inquired. The child opened his mouth with wisdom and explained:
"The problem is that I rarely see my father himself learning or engaging in the Torah that he constantly demands of me. During most of his free time—like the long Shabbos nights after the meal or on Shabbos afternoons—he eagerly reads various newspapers and the special Shabbos supplements. He rarely opens a sefer!
"He is always lecturing me about the sin of bittul Torah (wasting time from Torah study), teaching me that every word of Torah is a new mitzvah, yet he spends his time on frivolous newspapers! Why does he demand that I always study and study?!" The child cried in anguish, "I want to read those interesting newspapers too! Why does he burden me and pressure me constantly to excel in Torah? He himself sees how hard this work of Torah study is."
"I could perhaps understand," the child continued, "that after the hard work of his six weekdays, he might need to relax Shabbos. But what does he want from me? I also need some relaxing time to play and have fun like my friends!" the child grumbled bitterly.
This painful situation deeply moved my father. He took the matter seriously and spoke gently with the boy’s father. He advised him to establish regular Torah study sessions within the home so the children would see a father who studies Torah in their house—not just one who reads newspapers. At the same time, my father continued to strengthen his genuine and loving bond with the child.
Ultimately, this young boy was guided back onto the right path. Within a short time, he abandoned his troubling behaviors, and as the years passed, he grew and ascended in Torah and yiras Shamayim. He built a faithful home in Yisrael, one rooted in holiness and purity, and merited to establish upright and blessed generations.
Let us take to heart the moral lesson from this stirring story: how careful we must be in educating our children and how essential it is to serve as a personal example for everything we want from them.
This concept is especially relevant to Shabbos at home with our children. Let us strive to be a positive role model before their eyes, utilizing Shabbos for Torah and serving Hashem with love.
