Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho! Avery Freilichen and geula’dike chodesh Nissan! Mazel Tov to Heschel Ceitlin on the occasion of his engagement. Mazel Tov to Boruch Zaetz on the occasion of his engagement. Mazel Tov to Dovid Parshan on the occasion of his engagement. May they use out the special period of Yokor Mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Yossi Grossbaum on the birth of their son. Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Yaakov Tzvi Kantor on the birth of their son. Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Zevy Slavin on the birth of their son. Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Dov Ber Gurevitz on the birth of their son. May they bring them up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be true chayolim! (If anyone is aware of any mazel tov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
Tonight, the fourth day of Nissan, is the Yohrzeit of my dear father R’ Refoel Menachem Nochum ben R’ Yitzchok Eizik z”l. Despite over a decade having gone by since his passing, I continue to recognize more and more areas in which I have learned from him. This is because much of his teaching was not done verbally. Although he spent tremendous amounts of time learning with us – and in general spending time with his family – and he found something unique to learn with each child specifically that underlined the strengths of that particular child, his main lessons were by example, and thus were often learned without even realizing that they were being taught.
My father a”h was a businessman, and he was the owner of a large company, something that should have taken up much of his time and attention. Yet his priorities were so strongly etched in stone that it seemed natural - and it was only years later that I was able to recognize the remarkableness of it – that he would regularly and readily put everything aside for the sake of any need of any of his children. He saw his mission in life very clearly, and never got distracted from it. His own shiurim (he would get up at 5 each day to learn until Shacharis) were of paramount importance to him, and it was amply clear to us the difference between how he treated them and how he treated his business.
It occurred to me that even my sending out emails was actually another subconscious way of emulating him. My father would write letters. It began when we – the older children – were away from home, either in camp or Yeshiva, and my father a”h would send us letters. The letters contained stories, divrei Torah, and news from home. The letters became longer, and he would make copies for every child away from whom, adding a few personal lines to each. This was before e-mail (yes, there was life before email) and before the popularity of personal computers, and my father would write out a number of pages by hand, often on a weekly basis (he had a very clear and legible handwriting – something I unfortunately did not inherit..), photocopy them, and mail them out (with the personal lines penned onto each). As the years went on, the recipient list grew to include extended family, friends of the family, and various others who had subscribed at one time or another, and became part of the mailing list.
In his last years he was typing out his letters on a PC, and they were being copied by a family friend who was a printer, and the whole packet (usually many pages) was mailed (that was “snail mail” as mentioned above) out to many destinations. Some recipients enjoyed especially the stories, some the divrei Torah, and others the “news”, but there was something there for everyone (in fact, sometimes he would place deliberate mistakes, to test who was reading everything, and who was reading just the stories. We would hear about it if we didn’t “catch” them!). The 4 volumes of kovtzim זכרון מנחם that were printed contain a few years of his letters, but there are many more that still need to be organized and printed.
I humbly dedicate this email le’iluy nishmosoi "שלי ושלכם שלו הוא", may we speedily be zoicheh to techiyas hameisim and be reunited!
The Power of a Rebbe’s Word
The following story is from the recently publicized memoirs of Reb Yosef “Uncle Yossi” Goldstein a”h, who passed away recently:
In those years it was difficult for the Rebbe Rayatz to walk, and since it was not dignified to see him being wheeled in his wheelchair, the Rebbe would enter the room where the Rebbe Rayatz davened first, before everybody else, and then leave last. When we entered the room, the Rebbe [Rayatz] was already sitting in his place with his face to the wall, so it wasn't possible to see the Rebbe in a wheelchair.
One day, after davening, the Rebbe asked us to wait, and they turned the chair around so that he could see us. The chassidim were shocked and wondered why the Rebbe was turning to view them. This scene is engraved in my mind till this day. Next to me stood R' Moshe Yitzchok Konikov, a"h.
The Rebbe Rayatz looked at everybody with a penetrating gaze. This was the first time that I saw the Rebbe in tallis and t'fillin. I suddenly understood what is meant by "light." I saw an illuminated countenance, a handsome face. The heavens simply opened and I saw a G-dly vision.
And if that wasn't enough, the Rebbe suddenly began to speak. His face burned like a flame and he began with, "M'hut mir ibergigeben u'modiageven milmala" (they told me from Above). He spoke about a day when you don't say Tachnun, you must say chapter 20 of Tehillim, not as part of the prayer service but as supplication (see this instruction in the Tehillas Hashem siddur, p.190). I remember myself standing there, a young boy, like a golem, looking at someone who said he was informed from Above, a man with connections to the upper worlds.
[Later on, when I had yechidus with the Rebbe, I wrote up what happened and concluded that to my great sorrow, despite the fact that I had seen the Rebbe in such an exalted state, I didn't budge...
The Rebbe read the note, gave me a sharp look and said: R' Yossel af zich tor men oich nisht redden lashon ha'ra (one is not allowed to say lashon ha'ra about oneself).]
This story brought to mind a similar story, which I don’t know if I’ve had the opportunity to share yet:
There was a bochur, who came from a non-Lubavitcher chassidisher family, who started becoming attracted to Lubavitch and Chabad Chassidus, and gradually started adapting Lubavitcher minhagim. His parents were less than pleased (for some strange reason..) and tried with every means at their disposal to dissuade him from his errant ways. When they were unsuccessful, they tried to comfort themselves with the thought that he was probably just going through a phase (as teenagers are, in fact, wont to do), and would, in all likelihood, return to his senses in due time.
To their great consternation, not only did his momentary madness not become cured, but he became more and more set in his newfound path, eventually joining a Lubavitcher Yeshiva full time. The parents were devastated by this development, but continued to hope and pray that when he would reach the stage of shidduchim, which was coming up quite soon, he would realize the error of his ways. Deep down they understood that if he would actually plan on marrying a Lubavitcher girl (perish the thought), that would be an indication that the change was irrevocable, and his fate would be sealed.
In the meantime, this bochur did indeed begin to receive suggestions for shiduchim, and, upon receiving the Rebbe’s brocho, began meeting with one. Things developed, and (despite the prayers of his hopeful parents) there was another letter to the Rebbe and.. Mazal Tov!.. he was engaged.
His poor mother was devastated and enraged at what she viewed as his betrayal. She went straight to 770, and – unable to control her anger – went over to her son and delivered him a resounding slap on the face in front of everyone! The bochur did not respond, but his friends, who had witnessed the attack, approached her, saying: ‘what do you want from him? Now he’s a Lubavitcher, and he followed the directives of the Rebbe. If you are upset, you should complain to the Rebbe’.
The woman realized the wisdom of their words, and arranged for herself a yechidus with the Rebbe, during which she expressed her anger at what had occurred. The Rebbe allowed her to finish venting, and then responded simply:
“There is a sefer hashidduchim (in heaven), in which all of the shidduchim are inscribed. When your son asked me if he should meet the girl, I checked and saw that their shidduch is inscribed there, so I gave them my brocho. When they were ready to conclude, I again checked the sefer hashiduchim, and verifying that they were indeed found there, I gave my brocho. What else could I do?”
The woman was overwhelmed, and her mindset was completely reversed. This is someone who has access to the sefer hashiduchim! She now looked at the Rebbe with utmost respect and awe. And she left the room grateful of the fact that her son’s shidduch was verified with the sefer hashiduchim (although, admittedly, prior to the yechidus she had not been aware of its existence). (see also sipurei Chassidim on Parshas Ki Sisa, regarding what the Sar Shalom said about the maroish atzoivois).
This story, however, raises a question: This woman was, at first, not a follower of the Rebbe. In fact, far from being an admirer, she was rather the opponent, reacting with rage against her son for choosing to follow him. She obviously didn’t have much faith in him. Why, then, did she attach such importance to his statement about the sefer hashiduchim, to the extent of changing her entire mindset to the opposite extreme?
The answer, perhaps, is simple: True, she was neither an admirer nor a fan of the Rebbe, and she probably disagreed with and took issue with much of what he said and instructed his Chassidim. Nonetheless, she knew, that there are certain things that an honest person doesn’t make up. He wasn’t a fraud or impostor ch”v, and – though she may disagree with him in many areas – if he spoke to her about checking the sefer hashiduchim, it could only be because that was indeed what took place. And that was sufficient to change her entire outlook towards him.
[In the early years of the nesius of the Rebbe, one of the elder Chassidim of Eretz Yisroel once asked the Rashag what he thinks about the Rebbe. He responded with the following:
‘Often, my brother in law is asked a question, and he says he needs to ask the shver. When he returns from the ohel, he then communicates an answer, saying that it’s from the shver. Now, whatever you may say about my brother in law, one thing is clear to me, and that is that he is not a liar. If he says that he received a response from the shver, then without a doubt that is exactly what took place. I know for myself that I am incapable of receiving responses from the shver these days. If he is able to do so, then that is enough for me to be his chosid’].
This can perhaps provide us with an additional answer to a basic question in the story of yetzias mitzrayim: Chazal tell us (quoted in Rashi Shemos 3;18) that the Eibishter assured Moshe that the Yidden would believe him– ושמעו לקוליך – because they had a legacy that anyone who would approach them with the terms פקד פקדתי; - that they were remembered – was the true redeemer.
The obvious question is: what was the benefit of that sign? Could not any impostor also be familiar with this legacy? What, then, could that language prove (see also Ramban on the Possuk, where he raises the question and suggests 2 answers)?
But, perhaps another explanation is: the sign was not for identifying an impostor. The Jews could be depended on to realize if someone is a complete fraud. Rather, the worry was that someone may be very eager for the redemption and be fooling himself and others based on his miscalculations. Someone may truly think that it is the right time and procedure for redemption and mislead the Yidden into following him (as indeed took place on various occasions, beginning with bnei Ephraim, as Chazal tell us).
For this they had a sign: If someone comes to you with a direct message– direct regards – from Above, telling you that Hashem has remembered you, then you can be assured that he is the real redeemer. When Moshe came, they had no doubt about his sincerity and honesty, but (they thought) he could still err in his calculations. But when he informed that this was a message milmala; - the Eibishter remembered you, then there was no room for doubt that this was the real thing.
We have entered the special month of Nissan, the chodesh hageulah, and are all now (amongst our Pesach preparations) intensely readying ourselves for the auspicious day of Yud Aleph Nissan. We are focusing on the importance of the day, and on what the proper preparations would be; - how best to strengthen our hiskashrus.
One important thing to bear in mind is what a Rebbe is. The Possuk says regarding Moshe Rabbenu (one of the first Rebbes, about whom we are taught in Zohar אתפשטותא דמשה בכל דרא ודרא, - in every generation there is a Moshe, a Rebbe): אנכי עמד בין 'ה וביניכם להגיד לכם את דבר ה'.
When the Rebbe tells us something, it’s not just a good idea, or even a brilliant idea thought up by the brilliant mind of the Rebbe. Rather it is the Word of Hashem. It is a direct message from Above.
Imagine – on a day when you’re too tired or busy or (fill in the blank) to learn Rambam, for example. Suddenly you receive a telegram directly from the Al-mighty asking you to paint every tree in your town purple. Why, you’d drop everything in a heartbeat, and dedicate yourself with the greatest earnestness to this new directive. ‘What do you mean’ you’d exclaim, ‘how could it be otherwise, I got a telegram straight from Heaven’ (as the known story with the Baal Shem Tov).
Or say you got a text message from Atzilus telling you to refrain from dvorim beteilim and/or lashon horah for 30 days. Why, there wouldn’t be a moment’s hesitation in carrying this out. ‘What do you mean, it’s a text from Atzilus (no, it can’t be spam, they don’t have any spam in Atzilus)’!
[The secretary of the Frierdige Rebbe was R’ Yechezkel (Chatche) Feigin. Amongst his many duties was included the (simple) task of bringing the Rebbe the mail each day. These were hard times for the Jewish people, and many of the letters were from people pouring out their troubles to the Rebbe’s listening ears. The Rebbe would read the letters each day and shed bitter tears over each one. Understandable the experience had a very marked negative effect on his – already precarious – health, and R’ Chatche would try in any way he could to keep back the mail from the Rebbe. One day, the Rebbe asked R’ Chatche for the mail, and he, employing his delaying tactics, responded that it hadn’t yet arrived. The Rebbe asked for it a second time, and received the same evasive response. At the third request R’ Chatche was feeling the heat, because there was no way that the mail would have not yet arrived (he had hoped the Frierdige Rebbe would stop asking), and – at a loss of how to avoid it further – he blurted out “Velche post? Fun Atzilus?” [Which mail (are you asking for)? (The one) from Atzilus?] To which the Rebbe replied: “Oif dem darf ich eich nit hobben” [For that (the mail from Atzilus) I don’t need you]!]
What we, then, have to remember, is that every single directive that we received from the Rebbe, even those that were given to the entire public, is a direct regards and message from Above. You just got a text from Atzilus to learn Rambam, what can possibly stand in its’ way?! You received a telegram from Gan Eden instructing you to study Chassidus, or increase your study time, or improve the way you’re doing one mitzvah or another. This is not just a good idea or a valuable and important project. This is your message from Above, and nothing (not col, or vin or even the NY Times) can take precedence over it!
In the Hayom Yom of Yud Aleph Nissan, it is designated (along with everything else) as a day of cheshbon hanfesh, to contemplate how the past year has gone, and to rectify whatever needs to be rectified.
Surely a large part of that contemplation is to ask ourselves: how indeed are we treating the words of the Rebbe to us? The answer is easily measured by the manner in which we carry them out. Let us use this time, therefore, to contemplate and re-think the meaning of a Rebbe, and – as a result – the meaning and importance that we have to attach to the things that he tells us. Let this translate as a renewed enthusiasm and commitment to carrying out his directives, and, in general, living our lives as Chassidim of the Rebbe should.
This is the sure way of ensuring that Yud Aleph Nissan is truly a “Happy Birthday”, both for the Rebbe and for each of us!
L’chaim! May we all re-focus on the importance that the words of the Rebbe should have to us, as direct regards from Above, and may Above follow upon all of the messages and regards with a personal appearance through the immediate hisgalus of Melech haMoshiach TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
