It’s true that it’s important to look for methods that work rather than getting stuck in the same failed methods for months or years, and I try to stress this point often. It’s also important, however, to understand what “working” means, before looking for methods that achieve one’s goals.
If a person has a specific, limited (short-term) goal in mind, then looking for a method that brings you closer to that goal is sensible. Chinuch, however, is something entirely different. The goal of chinuch is not obedience or getting our children to do any number of little tasks such as making their beds in the morning. The purpose of chinuch is that our children grow up to be ehrliche Yidden who serve Hashem out of love, and develop into the best version of themselves while doing just that. Obedience (mainly to Hashem, and as a byproduct of that, to parents too) is only part of that, but there’s much more to it in the scheme of things.
That’s why if a child, for example, keeps forgetting to make brachos before eating, the correct response really is to keep reminding them over and over again... until it finally becomes ingrained. Giving a potch (even if it worked in this instance) would be wrong, because the child would only be learning to make brachos out of fear (of us), and that’s certainly not what we want.
It’s normal for children to keep forgetting to do the right thing and to need many months and even years of reminders and encouragement and prizes. Parents need to be incredibly patient, but once we realize that this is totally normal, it becomes easier to accept that instant results are not part of the scheme.
