The Baal Shem Tov lived out his years in olam hazeh. He spent the time serving the Eibishter and having an impact on the world around him. He even developed somewhat of an appreciation for the world. [The Alter Rebbe once remarked that there were 4 tzaddikim who had a “taam” in olam hazeh (and 4 who did not). One of those who did was the Baal Shem Tov, based on his remark that he had the ability to ascend to heaven in a fiery chariot, as Eliyohu hanovi did, but didn’t want to forego the inyan of ואלעפר תשוב].
Yet once he left this world behind, the idea of returning to such a lowly plane was so spiritually distasteful as to be inconceivable! We can see from this how painful it can be to return to this world after experiencing the lofty higher worlds.
This – according to Chassidus – is the interpretation of the Possuk in Shir haShirim (that the Rebbe addressed extensively in a Purim maamar). It is part of an exchange between HKBH and the Jewish people (during the times of Golus), when קול דודי דופק פתחי לי אחותי רעיתי יונתי תמתי, - the Eibishter is “knocking” at our door and begging us to open our hearts to Him. The Possuk describes the following exchange פשטתי את כותנתי איככה, אלבשנה רחצתי את רגלי איככה אטנפם. We say to the Eibishter, פשטתי את כותנתי, I have already removed my garments. The garments of a Jew are our performance of mitzvos, but we say, in the time of golus, we are already disrobed of those garments, we have gotten into the habit of being lax in our Mitzva observance.
Not only that, but (as we add) איככה אלבשנה, - we can’t imagine putting them back on, we don’t even see a possibility of our doing so: We have become so accustomed to our behavior, our ‘Judaism lite’ and ‘Lubavitch lite’, our cutting corners and getting away with less than we should, that that behavior has become second nature to us, and it is no longer conceivable for us to change.
And the (midashadin, on behalf of the) Eibishter retorts: רחצתי את רגלי, I have washed my feet, how can I, again, soil them? The “feet” of the Eibishter are a description of His descent into this world, in order to have a presence of G-dliness down here. As the Possuk states השמים כסאי והארץ הדום רגלי, the ארץ, the world, is the footstool of Hashem. When His holy shechina adorns the world, that is described as Him resting His feet down here.
But now, in the time of golus, He says “I washed my feet”, - I have already removed my feet, my presence, and departed with it from olam hazeh (leaving in its wake the helem vehester of golus, r”l). I am now comfortably settled in more spiritual worlds, in which I feel so much more at home, where my “feet” can be clean and pure. איככה אטנפם, how can I conceive soiling them again, experiencing again the tremendous spiritual discomfort from descending into this physical world?!
[The maamar continues, however, that – despite this sorrowful suggestion by the celestial satanic prosecutor – the Eibishter Himself, ultimately, chooses to disregard it and to turn to us, as the Pesukim resume דוד ישלח ידו מן החור etc.].
Recently, I watched an exchange that took place during the Rebbe’s distribution of dollars, that can add further insight into the above exchange:
A respected Rov came to the Rebbe for dollars, one Sunday, and began to speak. In his – rather – lengthy monologue, he basically stated that Chazal say that if Jews keep two Shabbosos they will be redeemed. He was calling on the Rebbe to send out a calling to his entire “mailing list” and to all of the important government officials etc. to call on all Yidden to properly keep two consecutive Shabbosos, so that the Eibishter will have no choice but to redeem us.
This Rov explained his plan rather at length, - he must have spoken for over a minute (and, compared to the seconds that are usually allotted, it appears to be an unusually long time). With incredible patience, he is allowed to complete his thought uninterrupted (and even the mazkirus etc. allowed him to finish, apparently being aware that the Rebbe held him in high esteem).
(There have been other instances in which people tried to give the Rebbe advice/instructions/ideas, in which the Rebbe responded rather sharply. In this case) When this Rov was done, the Rebbe said to him (quite respectfully) “Ven ir shreibt in hamaor, dacht zich mir az ir fregt nisht by mir, nor ir shreibt azoi vi bei eich kumt ois. Iz vos art ir az bei mir vet zein di zelbe seder” [When you write (chidushim Torah) in “Hamaor” (a Torah periodical, of which he was the editor), I believe that your practice is not to check with me what to write, but to write according to your own understanding. So why should it bother you that I behave in the same manner...]?!
[And, no, it didn’t end with that, the fellow, though flustered, still went on for another few moments].
And this can give us deeper insight into the position of the Heavenly midashadin, in the above exchange. Perhaps it is making the same retort: ‘You, Yidden, behave in a manner of איככה אלבשנה, - of being concerned with your comforts and conveniences, and being unwilling to go out of your comfort zone for the sake of Yiddishkeit, of Torah and mitzvos. You don’t let the Will or demand of the Eibishter override your desires and agendas. In that case, why should you expect the Eibishter to behave differently, איככה אטנפם, - how can you have the chutzpa to demand a different behavior from the Eibishter, to demand that He disregard His discomfort and spiritual distress in order to return to this physical and material olam hazeh hagashmi?!
The behavior of איככה אלבשנה is what sparks the response of איככה אטנפם!
On Purim, we know, is the time of כל הפושט יד נותנים לו. It is a time when we have the opportunity to reach out to our Heavenly Father and receive the best brochos מידו המלאה והפתוחה והקדושה והרחבה.
It is the most apropos time, as well, to beg and demand from Him our collective desire – which is also His greatest desire – to end this bitter and horrible golus and bring us Moshiach Now!
But – it would seem – we would want to avoid being in the position of the Rov in the story. I would think that we would want – at all costs – not to be in the position of being told “Hey, when it comes to your personal behavior, it seems that you do what you want. You are concerned, first and foremost, with your comfort and convenience, and not readily willing to put it aside to do what Hashem wants. So, but what right do you think that He should behave differently, and disregard any other possible calculations just to do what you are requesting”?!
The solution – to avoid that situation – then, is simple: We need, perhaps, to precede our own requests (and demands and directives and instructions) with our own avoda of פתחי לי. We need to use out this auspicious time of Purim to strengthen and solidify our own unconditional commitment to the Eibishter.
One of the chiddushim of the Alter Rebbe about Purim is that Purim is a Yom Tov of mesirus nefesh. It was not just the salvation of the bodies, rather, that was an outcome of our mesirus nefesh. Mesirus nefesh means total unconditional commitment. Of course we all have mesirus nefesh. Who, if not a Lubavitcher chosid, can lay claim to being the paradigm of mesirus nefesh.
But sometimes the demand for mesirus nefesh is not comfortable for us. Of course we’ll have mesirus for Torah and mitzvos, to learn and daven and even to daven with a minyan. But what if the minyan takes too long? I can’t be expected to sit through such a long minyan, not to mention not to check my phone throughout! That would be a very uncomfortable and inconvenient mesirus nefesh!
Of course – especially as a Chabad chosid – I won’t hesitate to love every Jew, even if it requires mesirus nefesh. At least...almost every Jew. I can’t be expected to love the guy who behaves like a real jerk (not to mention the guy who behaves like a real jerk towards me)! That would be a very uncomfortable and inconvenient mesirus nefesh!
But what was unique about Purim was that the mesirus nefesh lasted “throughout the year”. The Rebbe explains that a year– שנה מלשון שינוי - represents all of the possible changes and various circumstances that we may encounter. True mesirus nefesh means that regardless of what we may face and experience, we are unconditionally committed exclusively to whatever is the Will of the Eibishter, despite and regardless of our own desires and agendas.
הימים האלו נזכרים ונעשים, this is the time that we have the ability to renew and strengthen our own mesirus nefesh, our putting aside our personal desires and agendas, and focusing wholly on what Hashem wants from us. Then we can truly demand – and be entitled – that the Eibishter as well disregards any and all considerations, and devotes Himself wholly (despite any discomfort associated with it) to returning to us and to the world, with genuine אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר!!
L’chaim! And since it’s Purim, don’t stop at one, but follow up with another L’chaim, and then some more. And after all the L’chaim’s, who has the patience – or need – for speeches, all we need is abundant brochos with אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר with all of the pirushim, beginning with the literal meaning, and beginning with the ultimate brocho and the ultimate orah etc. with the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu NOW!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
