It is beyond our ability to grasp the enormity of spiritual levels and achievements Avraham Avinu achieved: his triumphs in the ten trials, his defiance in Ur Kasdim, and the binding of Yitzchak, as it says (Nechemiah 9:8), נֶ אֱ מָ ן לְ פָ נֶ יך אתָ אֶ ת לְ בָ בו מָ צּ ו – And You found his heart faithful before You.
Yet, despite all of this unparalleled devotion, Hashem’s primary affection for Avraham was not due to his incredible self-sacrifice but rather because he commands his children and his household after him (see Bereishis 18:19).
This teaches us a vital lesson as the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov: the supreme importance of the mitzvah of chinuch. When raising and teaching our children, we must not focus on ourselves—not on our spiritual losses, such as time away from Torah study, and certainly not on material concerns or financial loss. Nothing is more beloved or cherished by the Creator than educating children, for it is through this work that a person establishes future generations of righteousness.
Even Avraham, with all his extraordinary service and deeds—of which the Midrash (Yalkut Shimoni 42, remez 244) says that the Avos “ran like horses before Me”—still, the primary reason for Hashem’s love for him was because he educated his children and household to follow the righteous path, to keep the way of Hashem, to do righteousness and justice.”
The way Avraham achieved this in his home was not through excessive rebuke, discipline, or coercion. Instead, it was through the often repeated phrase in Pirkei Avos: “He used to say...” This can be understood as meaning that “he,” the essence of the tanna taught the lesson through his being and example. Avraham also did not need to rebuke or coerce excessively, as his example sufficed. More than a father says or rebukes, his essence and actions teach and guide his household. What “he is” “says” everything. Reflect deeply on this.
A talmid once approached the great Chazon Ish, zt”l, and asked him with great sincerity, "From what age should one begin investing in the chinuch of children?" The Chazon Ish, replied: "Tsen yohr far di chasene!" ("Ten years before the wedding!")
He explained: "To educate others, one must first be educated himself. The foundation of education is self-education. If you want your child to avoid a particular behavior, you must avoid it yourself. After all, you are tasked with establishing a faithful home in Yisrael! You must educate your household and children in Torah, good midos, and fear of Heaven. Great things are expected of you!
"This requires careful thought: Are you prepared for this? Have you worked to refine your own middos? Have you taught yourself humility, self-restraint, integrity, modesty, and simchas chaim?"
