Harav Hagaon Chaim Schmerler shlita, the founder of “Hagefen,” an organization that makes shidduchim, told me an amazing story that he’d heard from a Yid in Lakewood:
My son is a good bachur who learns well, and he got an excellent shidduch proposal – a girl with all the ma’alos, yiras Shamayim, and from a good family. The suggestion seemed good to me, and the more we thought about her, the more we felt it was very suitable. I told the shadchan that my answer was positive and that I was waiting for him to get the shidduch moving.
The shadchan got back to the girl’s parents. They had checked out my son, and they answered, “We heard good things about the bachur, but we are looking for someone on a higher level, even stronger in learning.”
My son, who already knew about the proposal and was waiting tensely to hear what the other side said, was very disappointed to hear that they weren’t interested in him. I’ll tell you the truth; in my opinion my son is very special, but he also knows that if he is rated in comparison to other bachurim, there are those who are on a higher level in learning than he is.
Several days passed by. My son got over the insult, and he came over to me with a wonderful idea. “My chavrusa, Tatty, you know he’s something special. He really is a bachur on a high level. This is the type of bachur that girl’s family is looking for. Of course it was not pleasant for me that they didn’t want me, but if she’s suitable for my chavrusa, then why shouldn’t we help him out with this good shidduch?”
He convinced me to call the shadchan. I gave over the details, and I hoped that at least I had helped someone else to establish a bayis neeman.
Several days later the shadchan called me back, this time with a positive response from that same family for my son. He told me that the girl had been very moved by the whole idea. She said, “A bachur like this one, who got over the insult, and fargins his friends so completely and is willing to help both us and his chavrusa, a bachur with such middos tovos – that’s what I want!
Indeed, the shidduch materialized, b’sha’ah tovah umutzlachas.
