Yaakov Avinu made all the necessary preparations for his meeting with Eisav, his brother. Yet, at the moment of truth, ‘וירץ עשו לקראתו ויחבקהו ויפל על צוארו וישקהו’ - ‘Eisav ran to meet him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him.‘(33:4) This outcome was truly surprising. Yaakov might have thought to himself: “I worried for nothing, feared for no reason; perhaps I exaggerated.” But no, Yaakov did not exaggerate. Rashi cites the Sifrei (Beha‘aloscha 69 to Bamidbar 9:10): ’Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai said: It is a well-known rule that Eisav hates Yaakov. However, in that moment, his compassion was stirred, and he kissed him wholeheartedly.‘ We must understand: If Eisav hates Yaakov, why was his compassion stirred at that moment? On the other hand, if Eisav‘s compassion was indeed aroused for Yaakov at that moment, perhaps the hatred was not so deep? Perhaps there are times and situations where compassion overrides hatred?
One thing is certain: if Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai said Eisav hates Yaakov, it is absolute. If there were even a tiny fraction of a chance that Eisav did not harbor hatred for Yaakov, Rashbi would not have made this statement or falsely maligned him, chas v’shalom. So, what exactly happened here?
To understand the answer, let us look back a little. Yaakov Avinu committed no wrongdoing against his brother, acted justly in all his actions, and was entirely in the right. Thus, he had no reason to send gifts to Eisav, and we are confident that had Yaakov chosen, he could have defeated Eisav and all his warriors. Yet, Yaakov acted differently. He sent gifts to appease his brother, and as he approached him, “he bowed to the ground seven times until he came near his brother.” Immediately after, “Eisav ran to meet him and embraced him.” On this, Rashi comments: ’His compassion was stirred when he saw him bowing all those bows.‘
This is the answer to all the questions. Eisav was wicked and remained utterly wicked. Yet, Yaakov‘s acts of humility—his repeated bows—subdued Eisav‘s nature. Even the great evildoer Eisav was moved to compassion.
This teaches us an important lesson: When there is a dispute between two people, the righteous party will not necessarily prevail by force. But through humility, one can achieve victory with remarkable ease. As the wise saying goes: ’I wish to be a victor; therefore, I make myself a loser.‘
