Yaakov Avinu was left alone and a man wrestled with him until daybreak” (Bereishis 32:24).
Chazal tell us that the “man” who grappled with Yaakov throughout the night was none other than the angel of Esav, the embodiment of spiritual opposition. Interestingly, in next week’s Parsha we encounter another mysterious “man”: “Vayimtza’ei-hu ish—A man found Yosef wandering in the field.” Chazal there identify the “man” as the angel Gavriel, a holy malach sent to guide Yosef toward his destiny.
But how does the Midrash know? How does it determine that one “man” is a destructive force while the other is an angel of light? What clues reveal the nature of each encounter?
Rav Yaakov Galinsky zt”l explained this with a story.
The holy Sanzer Rebbe, the Divrei Chaim, was once visited by a very wealthy man who had come seeking a beracha. The Rebbe asked where he was from. “Lemberg,” the man replied. The Rebbe continued, “Tell me, did the teacher in your town, Reb Zelig, manage to raise the money for his daughter’s wedding?”
The visitor looked puzzled. He had no idea what the Rebbe was referring to. The Divrei Chaim explained that just a month earlier, a broken-hearted teacher from Lemberg had come asking for help. His daughter was engaged, but the dowry was missing, and the shidduch was on the verge of collapsing. The Rebbe had written him a letter of recommendation to help him collect funds.
“Do you know if the situation was resolved?” the Rebbe asked.
“Oh... Reb Zelig,” the wealthy man said. “Yes, he’s well-liked. But I didn’t know he had a daughter, or that she was engaged, or that he needed money. Someone did come to me for help, but I didn’t realize it was serious.”
The Rebbe was astonished. How could he, living in Sanz, know the needs of a simple melamed in Lemberg, while the wealthy man living next door knew nothing?
The man defended himself. “I work all day to earn a livelihood. And the little free time I have, I rush to the beis medrash to learn, for my Olam Haba. I don’t have time for other people’s problems.”
He expected the Rebbe to admire his dedication. And at first, the Rebbe said, “Yes, a Jew should indeed learn whenever he has a free moment.” But then the Divrei Chaim added: “In that case, you must be a learned man. So let me ask you a question on Rashi.”
And he proceeded to ask our very question: How does the Midrash know that the “ish” who met Yosef was a holy angel, while the “ish” who fought with Yaakov was an evil one? The wealthy man had no answer.
So the Rebbe explained: “It is really quite simple. When Yosef was lost, a ‘man’ appeared and helped him—that is the mark of a holy angel. But when Yaakov asked the ‘man’ who wrestled with him for a blessing, the angel refused, saying he had no time—he had to go sing shira. An angel who is too busy with his own spiritual matters to help another Jew... that is an angel of destruction.”
The lesson is unmistakable.
A person who is so absorbed in his own spiritual growth that he cannot pause to help another Jew, even for a moment, resembles the angel of Esav.
As the Kedushas Tzion taught: “Another’s gashmiyus—another Jew’s physical needs—is my ruchniyus. Their material welfare is your spiritual greatness.”
Yes, strive for spiritual elevation. Yes, pursue growth, learning, and avodah. But on that journey, do not forget those around you. A friend who needs a good word. A neighbor who needs a smile. A family that needs a few dollars. A stranger who needs a helping hand.
Your care for another Jew may be your greatest spiritual achievement.
