The holy Chozeh of Lublin explained regarding the pasuk ולא בזה לא כי עני, ענות שקץ for He has neither despised nor loathed the supplication of the poor... that the Ribbono shel Olam doesn’t push away the humility of the poor man (ענות is also an expression of humility). One may ask, is there any greatness in it that this man is humble? What does this poor person have to be haughty about, anyway? We will answer this question with another question: How can it be that people who are completely empty, and have nothing to show for themselves, walk around with such great haughtiness—such that we can barely stand next to them? HaKadosh Baruch Hu created a monster called ga’avah... and He enabled a person to feel haughty despite having nothing to himself. How is this possible, you’ll ask?
The answer is that haughtiness is rooted in sheker. And since it is rooted in falsehood, it doesn’t matter what state a person is in... If it is sheker, a person can convince himself easily to be a ba’al ga’avah. One doesn’t need to be in a high position in order to feel haughty. Aren’t there people among us who know nothing about halachah and still consider themselves talmidei chachamim?! It’s clear to them that they’re talmidei chachamim! They have some vort on the parashah, and with this they’re convinced that they’ve earned their place in the Mizrach of the Shul!
They dress that way... they speak that way... and expect honor—not for themselves, of course—but for kavod haTorah.
People have no qualms about living with this sheker, even though they have nothing with which to support it, and if so, when a person exerts himself to be humble, it is certainly very special and valuable.
Thinking About the Whole Picture
A person must recognize his weaknesses. That is, a person must be willing to think also about those things that will change his perception of himself. Be willing to highlight the aspects of yourself that will change your picture of yourself.
You’re always talking about the good parts...now add to the picture also the dark places within yourself, and the picture will then be a fusion of all of you so you can see: This is who I am. There are things in which the Ribbono shel Olam gave me success, and there are things that I still need to work out. I am embarrassed by them, and I don’t want anyone to know about them...
Now let us proceed a bit further, to a topic that is really very simple, but very important: talking about our successes. Don’t talk about your successes, and don’t talk about your positive attributes. It’s painful to see people who don’t understand this. It’s as though they want to “help other people” by telling them about their successes and the מעלות that they have. It’s frankly repulsive in any form. Such behavior impedes Torah, it impedes learning, and it certainly impedes our ahavas Yisrael. One doesn’t even realize how many people will distance themselves from him when he talks like this. Practically speaking, no one is interested. We can debate whether it’s acceptable to do in front of his parents—about whom it is said that they don’t become jealous of their child—but even there it’s not necessarily a good idea.
How Ehrliche Yidden Behaved
Ehrliche Yidden, chassidim of bygone generations, did the opposite of showing off their successes and their positives. When meeting their Rebbe, they did everything to conceal their positives, so the Rebbe would see their entire picture. They understood that מעלות and successes are not the point when coming before a tzaddik and seeking a way in teshuvah.
Imagine that when coming to a doctor, and the doctor asks where it hurts, the patient will answer, “Wait, I want to tell you about all my organs that are working amazingly, and how successful I am in so many areas.” How is this important right now? We have important business to deal with now. We’re looking for healing, and if you can’t focus on what is relevant, you will be asked to leave.
Talking about successes and מעלות wrecks a person. It causes him to begin believing in himself. He says ten times that Hashem helped him, but then he talks all about his experiences and smart moves. If you want to talk about the greatness of Hashem, talk about the ways in which He helped the other guy. About the things in which He helped you, you can give praise and thanks in private, between yourself and your Creator.
The problem is that when a person talks too much about his successes, he begins to believe that his successes compose who he is, and this gives him an erroneous picture of himself.
In addition, focusing on the positive aspects of one’s life is, in essence, putting forward a false picture of himself... sheker, essentially.
A Personal Reckoning of Everything
For this reason, there’s a concept of making a cheshbon hanefesh before one goes to sleep at night. It doesn’t need to be public, and he doesn’t need to share it with the members of his household. But when doing so, it is important to speak about everything that took place that day... even the things he would like to forget about.
When a person feels embarrassed and humiliated by his misdeeds, and then strengthens himself with the knowledge that the Ribbono shel Olam loves him and wants to help him... he will give thanks for the help that Hashem gives him and for the boundless good that He gives him. This will elevate him and inspire Hashem to accept his tefillos.
A person must know who he is, and his entire picture, and what are his sources of chiyus. He must take great chiyus from the closeness that he has to Hashem... from the fact that Hashem is preoccupied with him and is willing to show him his errors.
Remembering That Hashem Remains Engaged with Us
How much thanks must we give for the fact that Hashem shows us the error of our ways, and doesn’t cast us away! A person does something wrong, and Hashem indicates it to him right away. Some people get lost by this... they feel pushed away. But no! How much אלוקים קרבת lies within this? Do you know what it means that Hashem didn’t cast you away the way he did the נחש? He showed you, black on white, I am with you and I am watching you!
If one will only look at himself and at the world in another light, Hashem will surely listen to his tefillos, and once Hashem listens to him, everything begins to move.
You don’t understand your learning? Wonderful, you have a reason to feel humble. This person has accepted his shortcomings and understands that they’re the best thing in the world for him—because in this way he knows that Hashem is watching over him and that he should remember that he isn’t infallible.
When a person places his shortcomings into this context, and begins to see himself in a truer light, he will see that he will feel sweetness and elevation, and he will see his tefillos answered more readily. He will also feel his physical pain a bit less... he will no longer need to run to the doctor, for he has more direct ways to address his pain.
