We say in birkas hamazon, שנתברכו כמו כל מכל בכל ויעקב יצחק ,אברהם אבותינו, that Hashem should bless the host, and all of us, מכל בכל כל, as our forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov were blessed. About Avraham it states (Bereishis 24:1) בכל אברהם את בירך 'וה, "Hashem blessed Avraham with everything. About Yitzchak it states (Bereishis 27:33) מכל ואוכל, "I ate of everything," and about Yaakov Avinu it states in this week's parashah (33:11) כל לי יש, "I have everything."
If we delve into the words and learn about when these brachos were given to the Avos, we will notice that they were all given at a time of distress. When it states את בירך 'וה בכל אברהם, "Hashem blessed Avraham with everything," it was right after Sarah Imeinu was niftar, and it was before they were able to bring Yitzchak to his chuppah. Chazal tell us that Yitzchak was sitting and crying all this time over his mother's demise until he married Rivkah (see Bereishis 24:67, Siforno and Rashi). Furthermore, Avraham still had a son, a rasha, Yishmael, in his home. It doesn't seem like he had "everything". Yet, at this time, even under all these circumstances, it states בכל אברהם את בירך 'וה, "Hashem blessed Avraham with everything."
The renowned chasid Reb Leibel Kutner zt'l (who lived through the Holocaust) would often say the following thought: Of all the Avos, Yaakov Avinu endured the most hardship. He suffered from Lavan, from Eisav, Dinah’s kidnapping, and then losing Yosef. But about Yaakov it states (32:13) עמך איטיב היטב אמרת ואתה, "You said, 'I will surely do good with you.'" So we see that we don't know what is good. And indeed, specifically from Yaakov Avinu, and despite all the tzaros he went through, he established the twelve shevatim.
Regarding Yitzchak the pasuk says ואוכל מכל, "I ate from everything." This also wasn’t uttered at a peak time of joy for Yitzchak Avinu. At this time, he was very afraid, as it states גדולה חרדה ויחרד, "[Yitzchak] shuddered a great shudder", and he saw the opening of Gehinom opened before him (Bereishis Rabba 67:2). This was when he discovered the truth about his son, Eisav, whom he had so loved. And at that time, it states מכל ואוכל, that he was blessed with "everything." Similarly, regarding Yaakov, when he met Eisav he said כל לי יש, "I have everything.” This was at a time when Eisav wanted to kill him, with the help of his army of four hundred men. These don't seem to be the best scenarios. So why do we request in birchas hamazon that Hashem should bless us כל מכל בכל as He blessed the avos with these brachos? Why should we want such brachos, that come with bitterness and hardship?
Some explain that these brachos were special since the avos could recognize and say that they had everything, even when it seemed that they lacked so much. Their ability to focus on Hashem's kindness and believe that it was all good is a perfect brachah. When we request these brachos (of כל מכל בכל) in birkas hamazon, we call it ברכה שלימה, a complete brachah. It is a complete brachah when one can recognize the good, even amidst the tzaros.
Yaakov Avinu always recognized Hashem’s kindness, and therefore he was able to say כל לי יש, "I have everything," during the meeting with Eisav harasha who wanted to murder him. We ask שלימה בברכה אותנו יברך כן, so we should also have this outlook in life, to focus on the good and to believe that everything is for the good.
It states (32:32) פנואל את עבר כאשר השמש לו ויזרח ירכו על צלע והוא, "The sun rose for [Yaakov] when he passed Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh." Rashi writes, "The Midrash explains: The sun rose for him to heal his limp, as it states (Malachi 3:20) ומרפא צדקה שמש בכנפיה, “The sun of mercy, with healing in its wings”. The sun hastened to set for him when he left Beer Sheva and set a few hours early, now it hastened to rise for him." Rashi and Chazal explain that the sun rose early that day to heal Yaakov. When Yaakov left Beer-sheva and came to Har HaMoriah (at the beginning of parashas Vayeitzei), the sun set two hours early so that Yaakov would sleep there. Now, the sun made up for lost time and rose two hours early to heal Yaakov. The Shevet Sofer writes in the name of the Chasam Sofer, quoting Reb Noson Adler zt'l that these pasukim give chizuk to those who feel that the sun has set for them. As people say, "There used to be better times, but now the sun has set; everything is dark." They don't see the light in their lives. They should learn from the Avos. The sun set for Yaakov Avinu in the middle of the day, and it looked like he and the world had lost two hours of daylight. But those two hours of lost sunlight returned twenty-two years later when Yaakov Avinu needed sunlight to heal his wound. His healing began two hours earlier. As Chazal say, למכה רפואה הקדים, Hashem prepares the healing before the wound. Years before Yaakov was wounded, his healing was ready. We learn from this that even when something seems bad, it is all for our good.
The final brachah (brachah achrita) said at a sheva brachos is וכלה חתן ושמחה ששון ברא אשר. Kol Bo (siman 75) teaches that this brachah is an overview of the brachos said before it. The first brachah of the sheva brachos is לכבודו ברא שהכל, "Everything was created for His honor." The chosson and kallah must know that the purpose of their marriage is to give honor to Hashem. Their marriage is not for their prestige, pleasure, wealth, or any other gain. The final brachah repeats the concepts of the brachos said before it. The idea of giving honor to Hashem is repeated in the final brachah when we say the words ושמחה ששון ברא אשר, "Who created joy and happiness." Happiness gives honor to Hashem because happiness enables the Shechinah to dwell with us. The Kol Bo explains:
"For it is Hashem's honor when people are happy because then they can receive His glory. This is because distress closes the soul and creates a barrier that separates the person from Hashem. A person shouldn't be angry but accept Hashem's decree with love... [Chazal tell us that] the Shechinah doesn't reside where there is laziness or sadness, only where there is joy, and this is Hashem's honor."
We learn from the Kol Bo how important it is to be happy and to accept everything that happens to us with love. This enables the Shechinah to reside by him, which is Hashem's honor.
