A feeling of humility usually comes to a person when he feels completely lost, and all “solutions” have been exhausted. He feels that everything is crashing, and now he begins to trust in Hashem because has been humbled—for he truly feels as if he has nothing. The Chazon Ish would explain it this way: A person reaches rock bottom—he knows that he truly has no recourse and no solution on his own to the big problems in his life. (When it comes to small problems, he is willing to settle for them not to go his way: but we are talking about big problems. Feeling lost humbles a person.)
In this situation, when a person says, “I rely on the Ribbono shel Olam,” his statement is rooted in humility. It means that he is done with his ga’avah. He has already tried everything, and he is now ready for the truth, for reality.
When a person feels like he has nothing left but Hashem, he feels much more elevated. If a person experienced this and felt elevated, then even if he strays from this attitude after a while, he still remembers who he really is, and Whom he really depends upon. But if a person is caught up in the klipah of illusory identities...his persona is based upon his “successes” and the things that he can show to himself and to others...at the siyum haShas he sat here, he has such and such a position... this-and-this person respects him, and so forth... he has no idea who he really is. This person is truly broken, and in need of so much chizuk... he is entirely empty.
The Background Noise Is Only a Distraction
Shedding the Layers
Davka when a person removes those layers that he is so afraid to shed, and he understands that he is nothing... everything that he has is a מתנת חינם, a gift from Above, and on the other hand, he is filled with shortcomings, then he begins to see himself in another light, and he asks himself, “Who am I, really? I was fired from my position... I am being laughed at... So, who am I?” Ahh... this is wonderful. Who are you really? His childhood friend meets him after twenty years and asks him, “So, what do you do for a living?” and he has nothing to answer... He tries to evade the question, and the glaring question comes to the fore: “Who are you?”
When a person arrives at the answer to this question, he becomes elevated. He doesn’t need anything else. I don’t need to answer what I do for a living.... It’s okay. It won’t tell you anything about myself; those answers almost always touch on the externals. (Ahh... you’re a mechutan of this person? Of course, I know who you are... as though this added anything to the picture). And from this we can understand that all the things that we want to attach to ourselves—to foster our own identity—are external nonsense. To the contrary, all these things that a person thinks about himself only distract him from learning who he really is.
You’re A Child of the King
Remove all these external thoughts and relax. Think about who you really are. Now daven to Hashem from a feeling that He owes you nothing, then give thanks to your parents who devoted their lives to you despite the “run for their money” that you gave them. Generally, a person only appreciates this once his own children begin to make him miserable. That’s when he remembers what he was like as a teenager... And from this, he can better appreciate all the good that Hashem does for him in so many ways despite his shortcomings... Who am I?! I am a מלך, בן a child of the King! That’s who I am!
In any case, ga’avah doesn’t help us at all to strengthen ourselves when we’re down. To the contrary, it only makes things worse. Take the courage to throw away all the nonsense, and then you will have so much more chiyus.
