By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
When your children hear you arguing with your spouse about parenting issues
There are times when you don’t like the way your spouse is parenting. Maybe you feel your partner is being unduly critical, loud or harsh. Your heart goes out to your child. Before you rush to protect that youngster, however, keep in mind that your child may suffer MORE from watching your “intervention.” Your spouse may feel unsupported, demeaned and angry when you step in with your “advice.” A fight may ensue and your child will know that she is the cause of it. Marital conflict alarms children. Only help your partner with parenting in PRIVATE moments, or in a professional’s office, or at a time when actual abuse (not just poor parenting) is taking place.
We’re not happy when our child hurls insults back at his brother or otherwise “let’s him have it” for mistreating him
When your spouse insults, hurts or otherwise really upsets you, how do you respond in the moment and over the next few hours? Do you give back a little (or a lot) of what you got? Do you sulk? Whatever you do, keep in mind that your kids are learning from it. Ask yourself: how do I want my child to respond to an insult he receives from his brother? Am I modeling that behavior for him?
