By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
Can you remember a time in childhood when you were embarrassed? Most of us can... We're all sensitive to embarrassment. For this reason it's important to correct people privately - never in public unless it is required for safety reasons (i.e. "You need to take your hands off his neck right now!"). It's equally important to avoid sarcastic remarks, little "digs," jokes at the expense of your loved one, stories of their misdeeds or failures and so on. The pain of being treated with a lack of sensitivity combined with the humiliation in front of others, often forges an indelible memory that's both hard to erase and hard to recover from. Preserve your relationships and the wellbeing of your loved ones - hold back!
You honestly don't understand why anyone would do such a thing.... "Why would you do that??" is a question to never ask a spouse or child. Its meaning is something like, "What's wrong with you? Are you stupid?" A spouse or child discerns this meaning even if you vehemently deny any such intent. Therefore, when you are astounded at your loved one's behavior, keep that astonishment to yourself. Take some time, think about what happened and what you want to do about it (if anything), and then, if it is appropriate and useful, make remarks that can actually help going forward.
