The Background Noise Is Only a Distraction
Shedding the Layers
Davka when a person removes those layers that he is so afraid to shed, and he understands that he is nothing... everything that he has is a מתנת חינם, a gift from Above, and on the other hand, he is filled with shortcomings, then he begins to see himself in another light, and he asks himself, “Who am I, really? I was fired from my position... I am being laughed at... So, who am I?” Ahh... this is wonderful. Who are you really? His childhood friend meets him after twenty years and asks him, “So, what do you do for a living?” and he has nothing to answer... He tries to evade the question, and the glaring question comes to the fore: “Who are you?”
When a person arrives at the answer to this question, he becomes elevated. He doesn’t need anything else. I don’t need to answer what I do for a living.... It’s okay. It won’t tell you anything about myself; those answers almost always touch on the externals. (Ahh... you’re a mechutan of this person? Of course, I know who you are... as though this added anything to the picture). And from this we can understand that all the things that we want to attach to ourselves—to foster our own identity—are external nonsense. To the contrary, all these things that a person thinks about himself only distract him from learning who he really is.
You’re A Child of the King
Remove all these external thoughts and relax. Think about who you really are. Now daven to Hashem from a feeling that He owes you nothing, then give thanks to your parents who devoted their lives to you despite the “run for their money” that you gave them. Generally, a person only appreciates this once his own children begin to make him miserable. That’s when he remembers what he was like as a teenager... And from this, he can better appreciate all the good that Hashem does for him in so many ways despite his shortcomings... Who am I?! I am a מלך בן, a child of the King! That’s who I am!
In any case, ga’avah doesn’t help us at all to strengthen ourselves when we’re down. To the contrary, it only makes things worse. Take the courage to throw away all the nonsense, and then you will have so much more chiyus.
