Moishie, Eli, and I (Gavi) all live on the same street and go to the same shul. I was making a bar mitzvah, expecting 100 guests, when 20 minutes before Shabbos my freezer died. Luckily, I happen to know that my friend Moishie, a teacher, is also great with his hands and a whiz with appliances. I called Moishie. “You’ve gotta save me! My freezer is broken. Can you take a look?” Moishie grabbed his toolbox and bolted to my house. He opened the backboard, replaced a wire, and put the whole thing back together. My freezer worked better than ever and the bar mitzvah was saved.
A few days later in shul, Eli told me, “I don’t know what to do. My freezer just stopped working. It’s such a waste to call out a repairman just to find out that it’s not worth fixing–but I’d like to avoid replacing it.” Can I tell Eli that my friend Moishie helped me?
THE DILEMMA
THE HALACHAH
No, because Moishie is likely to resent Gavi for having put him in such a position; Moishie probably doesn’t want to be known as the local repair guy. However, helping people in areas where they are lacking is a part of chesed. Therefore, Gavi should call His friend Moishie himself to see if he is willing to help Eli. If he is, then Moishie could suggest that Eli call him.
People think that speaking loshon hora and rechilus always means saying negative words. But sometimes, praise is forbidden under the category known as avak loshon hora or avak rechilus, because it will cause someone harm or loss. An example is letting others know that someone lends money to many people. Even if this praise will save someone else from a monetary loss, as with Eli, it is not considered a to’eles if it will cause the subject to resent the praise.
Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy, shlita. For discussion only; pls consult a rav. From Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation's Shabbos Menu [email protected].
