By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
No matter how hard you try, you are going to let them down..... Your children have expectations of you that you'll never meet - just like you had expectations of your parents. Children want their parents to be all wise, all giving, ever-available, always patient and understanding, rocks of security and towers of love; they want them to be what a fallible, normal, human being can never be: perfect. Be prepared to disappoint them, no matter how well-intentioned you are. Wanting to be perfect won't get you there. Have compassion on yourself and on them, accepting both your limitations and their unlimited needs.
When you only comment on what's "wrong" your listener can feel unappreciated, unseen and resentful.... Offering criticism (negative feedback) without first offering positive feedback, often invites resistance. Most people are doing something right EVEN in the middle of doing something "wrong" (unacceptable, incorrect, inappropriate). For instance, a child who yells at his sister is wrong for yelling, but right for trying to make his feelings or wishes known. A spouse who yells at the kids is also wrong for yelling, but right about trying to teach the children right from wrong. Name the "right" part of a behavior before you go on to correct the "wrong" part of it.
