Sichah 32 Part 4
And you should know that there are sins that cause a person to have heretical thoughts. And there are people who have heretical thoughts because they weren’t born with proper kedushah. And there are people who added to this with bad actions that they themselves performed, since there are sins that damage and harm our emunah. For this, a person should feel embarrassed and broken-hearted. In other words, a person who has these questions and thoughts, G-d forbid, it is fitting for him to be very embarrassed over the fact that he was born with such physicality or that he did such actions that caused him to have thoughts against our holy emunah – “and the glory of Hashem fills the whole world!” (BaMidbar 14:21) For “the entire world is filled with His glory (Yeshaya 6:3),” and this person has thoughts, G-d forbid, to expel and uproot, G-d forbid, the Living G-d, Who is the Life of all life, may his Name be praised and exalted! It is not necessary to describe the great amount of embarrassment that it is fitting for a person to have when these thoughts come into his mind, G-d forbid. And through embarrassment and a broken heart, a person expels and breaks these questions and thoughts.
The Source of Our Struggles in Kedushah
In this section of the sichah, Rebbe Nachman explains where our questions come from and the most effective way to eliminate them. Whenever a person sins, G-d forbid, this causes the forces of evil to attach themselves to him. Even when we don’t act with kedushah regarding things that are permitted to us – such as eating, working, etc. – we become surrounded by klipos. These klipos make us fall into depression and forgetfulness. They cover over us and make it very difficult to strengthen ourselves in emunah. This itself is a punishment for our sins -- the feeling of being far away from Hashem.
The manifestation of these klipos is negative thoughts. All the thoughts that people have about wanting to live a life without the guidelines of the Torah come from these klipos. The thoughts about wanting to be famous or make a ton of money also come from these klipos. Not only that, but even when we think, “Why is it so hard for me to learn?” or we have discouraging thoughts that prevent us from strengthening ourselves in avodas Hashem, these thoughts are also a result of the klipos that are created from our sins and/or lack of kedushah. As we explained before, there are many levels of heretical thoughts that we must work to overcome – each person according to his situation.
In addition to our mistakes, Rebbe Nachman says that our heretical thoughts can come from the fact that we weren’t born with such kedushah. There are certain people who don’t have this struggle. Their fathers had true fear of Heaven and he lived with Hashem in all aspects of life. Of course, they themselves still had to strengthen themselves against the yetzer hara, since it is always possible for someone to mess up, regardless of the level on which he enters this world. Nonetheless, the people who are born with holiness don’t have to go through the same confusing thoughts. Even if they don’t act properly, G-d forbid, they don’t lose their ratzon entirely. Thus, perhaps their yearning for Hashem awakens on Shabbos, or during davening they have thoughts of teshuvah and they cry out to Hashem. This is the result of the pure “clothing” of the neshamah that is given to such a person when he is created, which helps him to remain connected to kedushah.
However, for the rest of us, we must know that being born the way we are is our most important test in life. We shouldn’t question Hashem whatsoever. Instead, we should accept the challenge that Hashem has given us with a full heart, and remember that our struggles are really just amazing opportunities for us to fix our souls and make incredible tikkunim in all the higher and lower worlds.
And we should be even more accepting of the struggle with our negative thoughts if we know that we ourselves have made the situation worse, as Rebbe Nachman says, “And there are people who added to this with bad actions that they themselves performed, since there are sins that damage and harm our emunah.” We have to know that it is the nature of our existence and what we’ve done that causes us bitterness. In particular, which sins does Rebbe Nachman refer to here? There are many things that are mentioned in Likutei Mohoran that can awaken the klipos to cause us to have negative thoughts and challenges in our emunah – such as pegam habris, stealing, telling lies, etc.
The Power of Positive Embarrassment and a Broken Heart
Nonetheless, Rebbe Nachman never points out our problems without giving us amazing advice on how to fix them. In this case, his advice is to surrender to Hashem. In particular, Rebbe Nachman mentions two types of surrender: embarrassment and broken heartedness. We naturally don’t do things in front of other people that would cause us embarrassment. This is how we prevent ourselves from sinning and doing improper things in public.