And what about feelings? That’s also forbidden by the Torah. רַּכ¿מƒמּו חַ ̃∆מ¿ּב הָ‡ָנֹו‡ ׁ ̆≈ּי∆ׁ ̆ ם≈ׁ ̆¿ּכ – Just like there’s a law of cheating people in buying and selling, overcharging, יםƒרָב¿ּ„ַּב הָ‡ָנֹו‡ ׁ ̆≈י¿ךָּכ – there’s also a law of ona’ah of hurting people in words (Bava Metzia 58b). Hurting by words is forbidden just like hurting with money.
Unfortunately, it happens many times, people give checks that bounce — that’s plain robbery. A check has to be an honest check. But even if you pay the good check, it has to be paid without mean words. Hurtful words are worse than stealing. The Gemara says that: ןֹמוָמ ַ̇‡ָנֹו‡≈מ יםƒרָב¿ּ„ ַ̇‡ָנֹו‡ לֹו„ָּ‚ – It’s much worse when you vex people with words, you say a mean word, then when you vex them in money matters. The Gemara there gives three reasons, three separate reasons. Take a look there — it’s daf nun ches amud beis — you’ll see there three reasons why it’s worse.
You hear that? Saying a mean word to your wife is worse than if you cheated her. Let’s say you have a grocery store and your wife comes in to buy something, would you cheat your poor wife? You wouldn’t cheat your wife. You’d be happy to fill her basket with all kinds of good things. But if you said one mean word to her, it’s worse than cheating her! Hurtful words are more painful than tripping on the steps.
