Rabbi Pinches Friedman
Parshas Yisro 5784
This week’s parsha is parshas Yisro. In it, we read of the spectacular revelation of Matan Torah at Har Sinai. As the Gemara teaches us (Shabbas 86b), everyone agrees that the Torah was given to Yisrael on Shabbas Kodesh. Hence, it is fitting that this essay will focus on the fourth of the Aseres HaDibros that HKB”H pronounced to us at that historic event (Shemos 20, 8): “זכור את יום השבת לקדשו”—remember the day of Shabbas to sanctify it. They expounded in the Gemara (Pesachim 106a): “זוכרהו על היין בכניסתו, אין לי אלא בלילה ביום מנין, תלמוד לומר זכור את יום השבת”—mention it over wine upon its onset. This only teaches me that one must recite kiddush at night (when Shabbas begins). From where do I know that one must recite kiddush in the daytime, as well? Therefore, the passuk states: “Remember the day of Shabbas.”
Now, before performing the mitzvah of making kiddush over wine on Shabbas night, we perform the mitzvah of lighting the Shabbas candles before the Shabbas enters. For, we are taught in the Mishnah (Shabbas 34a) that one of the things a person is obliged to say at home on Erev Shabbas as it gets dark is: “הדליקו את הנר”—light the candle. The Gemara (ibid.) explains that this obligation is derived from the passuk (Iyov 5, 24): “וידעת כי שלום אהלך ופקדת נוך ולא תחטא”—then you will know that there is shalom in your tent, and you will command your household, and you will not sin. We find another pertinent exposition further on in the Gemara (ibid. 25b) related to the passuk (Eichah 3, 17): “ותזנח משלום נפשי נשיתי טובה, מאי ותזנח משלום נפשי, אמר רבי אבהו זו הדלקת נר בשבת”—my soul despaired of having shalom, I have forgotten goodness. To what loss does “my soul despairing of having shalom” refer? Rabbi Abahu said: This refers to lighting a candle on Shabbas.
Lighting the Shabbas Candles Is More Important than Reciting the Kiddush over Wine
The following Mishnah teaches us the importance of lighting candles in honor of Shabbas (ibid. 23b): “אמר רבא פשיטא לי נר ביתו ונר חנוכה, נר ביתו עדיף משום שלום ביתו, נר ביתו וקידוש היום, נר ביתו עדיף משום שלום ביתו”—Rava said: It is obvious to me that if a poor person lacked sufficient funds to purchase a Shabbas candle for his house and a Chanukah candle, the candle for his house takes precedence, on account of the shalom of his household. If a poor person cannot afford both a Shabbas candle for his house and wine for the kiddush of the day, the Shabbas candle for his house takes precedence on account of the shalom of his household. Rashi quotes the Gemara’s statement further on (ibid. 25b): “My soul despaired of having shalom,” this refers to the lighting of the Shabbas candle, since the members of his household suffer when they must sit in the dark.
In fact, this is the halachic ruling in the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 263 3): If one cannot afford to purchase both a candle for Shabbas and (wine for) the kiddush of the day, the Shabbas candle comes first. Similarly, if one cannot afford to purchase both a candle for Shabbas and a candle for Chanukah, the candle for Shabbas comes first on account of “shalom bayis,” since there is not “shalom bayis” without light (a candle). In his own inimitable way, the Rambam elaborates on this halachah (Hilchos Chanukah 4, 14): If a person is presented with the choice of lighting a lamp for one’s home (i.e., Sabbath candles) or lighting a Chanukah lamp, or alternatively, lighting a lamp for one’s home or reciting the kiddush of the day, the lamp for one’s home receives priority, since it generates shalom within the home.
After all, (regarding the water sprinkled on a “Sotah”), God’s name is erased to create shalom between a husband and his wife. In fact, shalom is so great, seeing as the entire Torah was given to bring about shalom in the world, as it states (Mishlei 3, 17): “Its ways are pleasant ways, and all its paths are shalom.”
In truth, the obligation to light candles in honor of Shabbas applies both to men and women alike. Here is the pertinent ruling in the Shulchan Aruch (ibid. 2): Both men and women alike are obligated to have a candle lit in their houses on Shabbas. Even if a person does not have what to eat, he should go door to door to obtain oil to light the candle. For, this falls into the category of “oneg Shabbas.”
Nevertheless, the accepted Jewish minhag is for the woman to light the candles in honor of Shabbas. The simple reason for this is explained in the Shulchan Aruch (ibid. 3): Women are more obligated to do it (i.e., lighting the candles is their responsibility), since they are usually in the home and deal with the household needs. In fact, the Magen Avraham writes (6) in the name of the Bach: And even if the husband wishes to light himself, the wife takes precedence.
The Magen Avraham goes on to give us another reason that the women customarily light the Shabbas candles (7): Furthermore, it is because the woman extinguished the light (candle) of the world. The MAchaszis HaShekel explains what he means: The woman extinguished the light of the world when she caused Adam HaRishon to sin. Thus, she darkened his neshamah, which is called a candle, as it is written (Mishlei 20, 7): “A man’s neshamah is the lamp (candle) of Hashem.” And his neshamah was the light of the world. For, all of the neshamos were connected to the being (makeup) of Adam HaRishon. The source for this notion is found in the Midrash Tanchuma (Noach 1): She extinguished the candle of Adam . . . therefore, she should be responsible for lighting the candles.
Additionally, the Magen Avraham (ibid.) brings down from the writings of the Arizal: In any event, the husband should prepare the candles. The source for this is the Sha’ar HaKavanos, where he emphasizes that the man should attend to the preparation of the candles (or wicks), but the actual lighting of the candle is the obligation of the woman of the house. So, since a man is also obligated to light Shabbas candles, he should at least participate in the mitzvah by preparing the candles.
Still, it is worthwhile focusing on the fact that whereas our righteous women light the Shabbas candles, the men—after being escorted home by two malachim—perform the mitzvah of reciting the kiddush over the wine. It also behooves us to note what the Rama (O.C. 271, 10) writes in the name of the Maharil concerning kiddush: When he begins, he should gaze at the candles, and when he recites the kiddush, at the cup of blessing. Hence, we will endeavor to explain and understand the connection between reciting the kiddush on the wine and lighting the candles.
Kiddush over Wine on Shabbas Night Is a Tikun for the Cheit Eitz HaDa’as
We will begin to shed some light on the subject by referring to the Gemara (Berachos 40a): “תניא אילן שאכל ממנו אדם הראשון, רבי מאיר אומר גפן היה, שאין לך דבר שמביא יללה על האדם אלא יין, שנאמר וישת מן היין וישכר”. It was taught in a Baraisa: Concerning the type of tree from which Adam HaRishon ate, Rabbi Meir says: It was a grapevine; for there is nothing that brings wailing upon a person as wine does, as it is stated (Bereishis 9, 21): “And he (Noach) drank from the wine and he became drunk.” Similarly, the Midrash teaches us (B.R. 19, 5) regarding the passuk (ibid. 3, 6): “ותקח מפריו ותאכל, אמר רבי איבו, סחטה ענבים ונתנה לו”—“She (Chava) took from its fruit, and she ate.” Rabbi Eivo said: She squeezed grapes and gave it to him.
We find a fascinating chiddush related to this matter in the commentary of the Ohr HaChaim hakadosh (Bereishis 1, 29). They, of blessed memory, have taught (Bereishis Rabbah 21:7) that if he (Adam HaRishon) had waited until Erev Shabbas, he would have made kiddush over wine (the forbidden fruit)—until here; and from their words, you learn that this prohibition was not to be in effect forever. It appears that his source is the Sifsei Kohen (Bereishis), who was a young disciple of the Arizal in Tzfat. He cites a passage in the Midrash (D.R. 4, 5) related to the passuk (ibid. 3, 17):
“To Adam He said, ‘Because you heeded the voice of your wife.’” Rabbi Yitzchak said: To what can this matter be compared? To a king who said to his servant, “Do not taste anything until I return from the bathhouse.” While waiting for the king, the servant’s wife said to him, “Taste this dish (that I am preparing for the king to make sure that it is seasoned properly), so that he (the king) will not desire to put salt or sauce into it. The king arrived and found him smacking his lips (from the dish he had just tasted). The king said to him, “Did I not tell you, ‘Do not eat anything?’” He (the servant) responded, “My master, your maidservant gave it to me (to taste). The king said to him, “So you heeded my maidservant more than me?!”
Thus did HKB”H say to Adam (ibid. 2, 17): “But of the Eitz HaDa’as Tov VaRa you must not eat thereof.” What did Chava do? She gave him to eat from the tree . . . HKB”H said to him (ibid. 3, 11), “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” He responded, “My Master, behold, Your maidservant gave it to me.” From where do we learn this? For it is stated (ibid. 12): “The man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave to me of the tree, and I ate.’” He (HKB”H) said to him, “So you heeded Chava more than Me?!” He was immediately driven out (of Gan Eden), as it is stated (ibid. 24): “And He drove out the man.”
The Sifsei Kohen deduces from the Midrash’s analogy that the prohibition to eat from the Eitz HaDa’as was only temporary, since the king only instructed the servant not to taste any of the food until he returned from the bathhouse. Hence, he concludes that had Adam HaRishon waited patiently until Shabbas Kodesh, he would have been permitted to partake of the fruit of the tree—which were grapes—and use them to fulfill the mitzvah of making kiddush over wine.
He adds that this is the reason for the mitzvah to make kiddush on wine on Shabbas night—to make amends for the sin of Adam HaRishon, who drank from the fruit of the vine while it was still a weekday, which was forbidden. In this manner, he explains the elucidation in the Gemara cited above that the mitzvah to make kiddush over wine is derived from the passuk (Shemos 20, 8): “זכור את יום השבת לקדשו, זוכרהו על היין”. For, there would be no need to admonish us to remember unless there was a concern that we might forget. This alludes to the fact that Adam HaRishon forgot and drank from the wine prematurely, on the weekday, and neglected to wait until the onset of Shabbas. Therefore, the Torah admonishes us: “Remember the day of Shabbas to sanctify it”—remember it over wine, i.e., make kiddush over wine on Shabbas and not on a weekday.
With this in mind, he explains the significance of Rava’s statement in the Gemara (B.B. 97b): “סוחט אדם אשכול של ענבים ואומר עליו קידוש היום”—a person (“Adam”) may squeeze the juice from a cluster of grapes (before Shabbas) and recite the kiddush of the day over it. Rava specifically said: “סוחט אדם”—alluding to the fact that it is incumbent upon us to make amends for the sin of “Adam” HaRishon, who drank wine that was prohibited, from the grapes that Chava had squeezed for him. To rectify his transgression: “A person may squeeze the juice from a cluster of grapes (before Shabbas) and recite the kiddush of the day over it (on Shabbas).”
The Remarkable Explanation of the Maharshak concerning the Minhag to Gaze upon the Candles while Making Kiddush
We find a remarkable explanation from the brilliant Rabbi Shlomo Kluger in his commentary Chochmas Shlomo on the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 271, 10). He addresses the minhag mentioned by the Rama in the name of the Maharil, that when beginning to make kiddush over the wine, one should gaze upon the candles. Here is a loose translation of his explanation:
It appears that the reason is because the tree that Adam HaRishon ate from was a grapevine, and as a consequence, the candle of the world was extinguished. For, the death penalty caused by Chava is viewed as extinguishing the candle of the world. In other words, partaking of the Eitz HaDa’as extinguished the candle of the world. Therefore, we make kiddush over wine, because we want to rectify the cheit of Adam HaRishon which involved the fruit of the vine.
Furthermore, according to what the kabbalists wrote, had Adam HaRishon waited until nightfall, and made kiddush over grapes, the tree would have then been permitted to him. So, by making kiddush, we intend to make amends for the cheit of Adam HaRishon, who extinguished the candle of the world; we want to rectify this by igniting the candle of the world. Therefore, it is fitting to gaze upon the candles to allude to this fact—that it is our intention to rekindle the candle of the world that was extinguished by the cheit of Adam HaRishon that involved the fruit of the vine.
We can now appreciate why the man should participate in the preparation of the candles to be lit in honor of Shabbas. For, although Chava sinned first by eating from the Eitz HaDa’as; nevertheless, Adam HaRishon followed her lead and also sinned. Thus, he shares in the responsibility of extinguishing the candle of the world, which imposed the death sentence on all of creation. Therefore, both the husband and wife should participate in the mitzvah of “hadlakat ner Shabbas”—the man should prepare the candles or wicks for his wife, so that she may then light them to honor the Shabbas and make amends for extinguishing the candle of the world.
The Kohanim Serve with Oil which Is Covert and Not with Wine which Is Overt
Following this train of thought, we will now explain the magnificent relationship between the mitzvah of “hadlakas neiros”—performed by the women—and the mitzvah of kiddush over wine—performed by the men. We will also explain the rationale for gazing upon the candles at the start of kiddush. Let us refer to what the author of the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 264. 6) wrote: It is permissible to light the Shabbas candles with any oil that is drawn easily to the fire of the wicks. Nevertheless, olive oil is the choicest for the mitzvah because it is drawn to the wick better than all the other oils.
We will now introduce an intriguing concept gleaned from the Zohar hakadosh (Shemini 39a). It explains the rationale of HKB”H for warning Aharon and his sons, the kohanim (Vayikra 10, 9): “יין ושכר אל תשת אתה ובניך אתך בבואכם אל אהל מועד”—do not drink wine or any intoxicating beverage, you and your sons with you, when you come to the Ohel Moed. Concerning the avodah of Hashem, there are two distinct types; they are compared to wine and oil. Wine represents avodah that is overt and audible. For, there is a well-known maxim about wine (Eiruvin 65a): “נכנס יין יצא סוד”—when wine enters, secrets escape. In other words, wine reveals things that are concealed and brings them into the open. Along these lines, we are taught (Berachos 35a): “אין אומרים שירה אלא על היין”—song is only uttered in association with wine. Thus, we see that wine causes a person to open his mouth and sing to Hashem.
In contrast, oil symbolizes service of Hashem characterized by being private and unpretentious. This is the nature of oil; when oil is spilled from one vessel to another, it does not make a sound. Thus, it represents avodah from the heart, which is performed silently, privately, and with internal focus. Accordingly, the Zohar hakadosh explains the warning HKB”H issued to Aharon HaKohen: “Do not drink wine or any intoxicating beverage, you and your sons with you, when you come to the Ohel Moed.” The avodah of the kohanim stems from the heart; it is private and silent like oil. On the other hand, HKB”H assigned the leviim to accompany the korbanos with song. In other words, their avodah is overt and audible like the effects of wine.
Let us embellish the notion that the avodah of the kohanim is private. Their sacred service involves sacrificing korbanos that sinners offer for atonement. Furthermore, we learn in the Gemara (Zevachim 7a) that the sinner’s atonement comes from his confession and teshuvah, not his korban. For, if not accompanied by teshuvah, his korban is undesirable and even detested, in keeping with the passuk (Mishlei 21, 27): “זבח רשעים תועבה”—the offering of the wicked is an abomination. This is evident from the ruling of the Rambam (Hilchos Teshuvah 1, 5): Similarly, those who bring sin-offerings or guilt-offerings must also confess their sins when they bring their sacrifices for their inadvertent or willful transgressions. Their korbanos will not atone for their sins until they perform teshuvah and make a verbal confession, as it states (Vayikra 5, 5): “He shall confess the sin he has committed upon it.”
This implies that if the kohen realizes that the sinner has not yet performed wholehearted teshuvah, it is the kohen’s duty to rebuke him and encourage him privately to do so, so as not to embarrass him, in keeping with the passuk (ibid. 19, 17): “הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך ולא תשא עליו חטא”—you shall reprove your fellow, and you shall not bear a sin because of him. Rashi clarifies: Do not embarrass him publicly. Hence, HKB”H instructed the kohanim to perform their priestly duties privately and quietly, like oil, to avoid embarrassing the sinner.
Kindling the Lamps with Olive Oil Privately to Make Amends for Chava Talking Openly with the Nachash
Now, upon careful review, it is evident that Chava’s failure in the matter of the “cheit Eitz HaDa’as” is attributable to the fact that she entered into a conversation with the primeval serpent. As it is written (Bereishis 3, 1): “והנחש היה ערום מכל חית השדה אשר עשה ה' אלקים, ויאמר אל האשה אף כי אמר אלקים לא תאכלו מכל עץ הגן, ותאמר האשה אל הנחש מפרי עץ הגן נאכל, ומפרי העץ אשר בתוך הגן אמר אלקים לא תאכלו ממנו ולא תגעו בו פן תמותון”. Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field that Hashem had created. He said to the woman, “Did, perhaps, G-d say: ‘You shall not eat of any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the nachash, “Of the fruit of any tree of the garden we may eat. Of the fruit of the tree which is in the center of the garden G-d has said: ‘You shall not eat of it, and you shall not touch it, lest you die.’”
Regarding the nachash’s remark to Chava, Rashi comments: Even though he saw them eating from the other fruit, he pursued a conversation with her, so that she would answer him, and he would eventually talk about that specific tree. In other words, Rashi asserts that the nachash intentionally engaged Chava in conversation in order to set his trap.
This teaches us that if Chava had avoided discussing with the nachash the fact that HKB”H had forbidden her and Adam to partake of the Eitz HaDa’as, she would not have stepped into its trap and would not have sinned. This is the lesson taught by the wisest of all men (Mishlei 10, 19): “ברוב דברים לא יחדל פשע וחושך שפתיו משכיל”—in an abundance of words, offense will not be lacking, but one who restrains his lips is wise.
We can now better appreciate why the mitzvah of lighting the candles with oil in honor of Shabbas Kodesh is primarily performed by the woman of the house. For, as we have learned, this mitzvah is meant to atone for her causing the candle of the world to be extinguished as a result of the “cheit Eitz HaDa’as.” As explained, the root cause of the sin was her entering into a conversation with the nachash. Hence, the tikun requires lighting the candles with oil, which alludes to serving Hashem quietly and inconspicuously—i.e., avoiding unnecessary and inappropriate conversation.
With this understanding, it gives me great pleasure to reconcile a surprising comment found in Tosafos (Shabbas 113b) in the name of the Midrash Tanchuma (Bereishis 2): “Nor speaking (vain) words” indicates that you should not converse on the Sabbath day as on a weekday. Like the incident involving the mother of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. She was chattering (unnecessary, irrelevant things) on Shabbas, so he said to her: “It is the Shabbas day.” Thereupon, she stopped talking.
Similarly, this passage is presented in the Midrash (V.R. 34, 16). The Maharzu provides an explanation based on a teaching in the Gemara (Kiddushin 32a): “הרי שהיה אביו עובר על דברי תורה, אל יאמר לו אבא עברת על דברי תורה, אלא אומר לו אבא כך כתוב בתורה”. One whose father was violating a Torah law should not say to him, “Father, you violated a Torah law.” Instead, he should say to him, “Father, such and such is written in the Torah.” This explains why Rashbi refrained from reprimanding his mother and merely remarked politely, “It is the Shabbas day.” Thus, she understood on her own that her talking was inappropriate and she remained silent. Notwithstanding, why did Rashbi see fit to rebuke his mother at all? Based on our current discussion, we can suggest the following: The woman of the house lights the candles with oil to rectify her guilt associated with the “cheit Eitz HaDa’as.” She sinned because she was drawn into a conversation with the “nachash hakadmoni.” Therefore, Rashbi felt strongly that it is crucial for women to avoid superfluous speech on Shabbas.
Reciting Kiddush on Shabbas Fulfills the Requirement of Studying Torah Out Loud
Continuing along this sublime path, we will now focus on the mitzvah of reciting kiddush on Shabbas night, which Chazal derived as follows: “זכור את יום השבת לקדשו, זוכרהו על היין”. Clearly, Shabbas kodesh is a day set aside for Torah-study. As the Tur (O.C. 290) writes in the name of the Midrash: “אמרה תורה לפני הקב"ה, רבונו של עולם כשיכנסו ישראל לארץ, זה רץ לכרמו וזה רץ לשדהו ואני מה תהא עלי, אמר לה, יש לי זוג שאני מזווג לך ושבת שמו, שהם בטלים ממלאכתם ויכולין לעסוק בך.” Here the Torah voices her concerns before HKB”H that when Yisrael enter the land and are occupied with their fields and vineyards, she will be neglected. HKB”H replies that Shabbas will be her mate. For, on Shabbas, Yisrael abandon their work and are free to engage in Torah study. He makes it quite clear that it is our obligation to illuminate the Shabbas with the light of Torah.
Now, it is well-known that Torah should be studied out loud. In the words of the Gemara (Chullin 89a): “אמר רבי יצחק, מאי דכתיב האמנם אלם צדק תדברון מישרים תשפטו בני אדם, מה אומנתו של אדם בעולם הזה, ישים עצמו כאלם, יכול אף לדברי תורה, תלמוד לומר צדק תדברון”. Rabbi Yitzchak said: What is the meaning of that which is written (Tehillim 58, 2): “Is there
