אַשׁ ְ רֵ י יוֹלַדְ תּ וֹ – He was blessed with such good character traits that the whole world would say about him, "Fortunate is the one who bore him." And some say it is because his mother caused him to become wise. She would go around to all the study halls in her city and say to them, "Please, I beg of you, pray for mercy for this fetus in my womb that he should be wise." And from the day he was born she never took his cradle out of the study hall so that only words of Torah would enter his ears.
HaMaor SheBaTorah says: In Makkot (11a) we learned that the mothers of the Kohanim would provide the unintentional killers with food and clothing so they would not pray for the Kohen Gadol to die. (The unintentional killer could not leave the Ir Miklat – city of refuge until the Kohen Gadol died; so that the unintentional killer would stop praying, the mothers of the Kohanim would bring them cakes and nuts. While some snacks won’t stop them from davening, their Tefillah would be slightly tainted because they received an element of bribery.)
It is fitting to understand why the wives of the Kohanim would not provide for them. And likewise, why not the father? We learn in Yoma (47a) and Vayikra Rabbah (20):
שִׁבְעָה בָנִים הָיוּ לָהּ לְקִמְחִית, וְכֻלָּם שָׁמְשׁוּ בִּכְהוּנַת גְּדוֹלָה. אָמְרוּ לָהּ חֲכָמִים: מַה עָשִׂית שֶׁזָּכִית לָזֹאת? אָמְרָה לָהֶם: מִימַּי לֹא רָאוּ קוֹרוֹת בֵּיתִי קִלְעֵי שַׂעֲרִי.
Kimchit had seven sons and all of them served as Kohen Gadol. The Sages said to her: What did you do that you merited this? She said to them: In all my days, the beams of my house never saw the braids of my hair.
That is to say: modesty and shame in the innermost chambers testify to the fear of Heaven that exists in a person, for she is ashamed before Hakadosh Baruch Hu always, knowing that He sees her with certainty. Therefore, when the beams of her house never saw her hair – this shows that she possessed fear of Heaven at a lofty and exalted level. The deeds of the mother influence her sons as well, and therefore they are worthy to stand before Hakadosh Baruch Hu always, to be High Priests.
The Kohen Gadol should have sought mercy on Yom Kippur when he entered the Kodesh Hakodashim, that such things – i.e., inadvertent murders – would not occur. When he did not do so, he is culpable. And who caused all this? The mother of the Kohen Gadol – for when he was small, she should have trained him in Tefillah with proper kavanah and with fear of Heaven, until he became Kohen Gadol and would daven as required.
But what is the wife's fault in the negligence of the Kohen Gadol’s Tefillah? Consider this: the Kohen Gadol, even when he is already in the Kodesh Hakodashim, draws from his mother's education. Her deeds themselves teach fear of Heaven, and all the more so direct education. This is the obligation and role of a person from the earliest days of education. Because of this merit, the Torah preceded Matan Torah with כֹּה תֹאמַר לְבֵית יַעֲקֹב – because you shall not forsake the teaching of your mother. This is the first yesod, which is a form of אַשׁ ְ רֵ י יוֹלַדְ תּ וֹ – Blessed is she who bore him.
And it came to pass that when the midwives in Egypt feared Hakadosh Baruch Hu, He made houses for them. Rav and Levi debate this in the Midrash – one says houses of Kohanim and Levi’im. The modesty and shame of Kimchit – who had seven sons who served as Kohen Gadol – were constant remembrance of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and her fear before Him in the innermost chambers. Therefore, the reward of her fear was houses of Kohanim and Levi’im.
Regarding Kimchit: the education of a person is always conducted more gently, because she persuades him through words, while the father's education comes more from fear (Kiddushin 31a). We need both approaches. Therefore, Chazal sent after her and asked her, "What did you do that you merited this?" – and they did not send after her husband. For she is the one who plants fear and faith gently and persuades the children through words. Although it is not unlikely that her husband was also a Kohen Gadol, since the Kehuna passes by inheritance, they did not send to investigate what the father had done. Rather, the mother is the essential one.
In Massechet Sota (49a), it is stated:
משֶׁמֶת רַבִּי בְטָלָה עֲנָוָה וְיִרְאַת חֵטְא. אָמַר לֵיהּ רַב נַחְמָן לִתְנָא: לָא תִיתְנֵי יִרְאַת חֵטְא.
When Rabbi died, humility and fear of sin ceased. Rav Nachman said to the Tanna: Do not teach 'fear of sin.'
Explaining Rav Nachman’s statement: Do not teach that "fear of sin" ceased, because I exist – for I am alive, I fear sin, and therefore fear of sin has not ceased from the world!
The Gilyon HaShas brings Rashi's opinion from Megillah (28a) that this Rav Nachman is Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak, as it states there that Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak is one of the pious of Bavel.
It's wonderful to know from where Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak merited this attribute, and from whom he learned to fear sin, being unique in his generation. The answer to this question is an explicit Gemara in (Shabbat 156b): The astrologers told Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak's mother: "Your son will be a thief." She didn't let him go with his head uncovered and always told him: “יִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם וּבָתֵר עַל הַדָּבָר כְּדֵי שֶׁתְּהֵא עָלֶיךָ כַּסֵּה רֹאשְׁך – Cover your head so that the fear of Heaven will be upon you and pray for mercy."
He didn't know why his mother told him this. One day he was sitting and learning under a palm tree, and his cloak fell from his head. He raised his eyes and saw the palm tree had dates. His inclination overcame him; he climbed up and plucked a cluster of dates with his teeth.
His mother's education toward fear of Heaven – through words and action, "covering the head" together with Tefillah – caused Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak to have fear of sin. The Torah he learned didn't protect him then when he raised his head and plucked a cluster of dates with his teeth. How great is the mother's Torah, to educate children even when they have very difficult natures!
Thus, we've learned how great is the power of women in educating children! May Hakadosh Baruch Hu grant that we all merit to educate our sons and daughters in Torah and fear of Heaven, and may we merit soon the coming of the Mashiach Tzidkeinu speedily in our days, Amen v'Amen! ◊
